


Wounds, Visible and In-

by Kizmet



Series: Wounds:  Visible and In- [6]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angelic self-actualization, BAMF Linda Martin (Lucifer TV), Dan Espinoza Finds Out, Ella Lopez Finds Out, F/M, Fix-It, Gen, Good Friend Dan Espinoza, Hell Loops (Lucifer TV), Hell needs fixed, Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV) Needs A Hug, Post-Season/Series 04, Protective Chloe Decker, Protective Ella Lopez, What about Uriel's Role in the Plan?, world building
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 11:34:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 35,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21136043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kizmet/pseuds/Kizmet
Summary: Discontinued (restarted with a different format)Post-Season 4, Lucifer has chosen to give up his life on Earth in order to resume his duties in Hell... But Hell's a mess and the demons missing their king is only the most recent issue.  And it's not just Chloe who's left behind to worry about Lucifer.  Plus Angelic Self-Actualization starts acting up in a new way.





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> This story comes from hoping season five sees Lucifer finding some sort of balance, not neglecting his responsibilities with regards to Hell but not being expected to completely abandon any hope of happiness. 
> 
> Also souls condemned eternally to Hell based solely on the guilt they feel just bugs me, both for the idea that Cain could have had a workable plan if only he hadn't felt bad about killing Charlotte and because guilt isn't necessarily healthy or rational; survivor's guilt just to mention one thing. Just seems like a shitty, flawed system that needs fixed. And maybe something Lucifer is in a better place to address than he was at the start of the show? That would be a better ending for me, Lucifer capable of addressing the inadequacies of the system he's had dumped on him rather than just him becoming a willing sacrifice to keep it running.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long pause. This story had started feeling like juggling… And I could see that the balls were going to fall soon. Also the timing between the various timelines was driving me up the wall, by trying to check in with every storyline regularly I was ending up losing stuff because another storyline messed up the timing. So anyway, I ended up deciding to restructure the whole thing to be a series of smaller, more focused stories. 
> 
> I think it’s partially an effect of binge watching the series: Too many plot bunnies competing for attention.
> 
> I’m starting over, with Dan’s story line. There are going to be scenes from the original version but also a lot of new stuff mixed in. It’s completely written so I’ll post quickly. Then I’ll pick up one of the other storylines (probably Ella, I’m planning on working from characters who are less in the know because they spoil less of the later storylines.) 
> 
> I'll probably delete this later when I've caught up on the various storylines.

“I couldn’t find any professional recordings of Lucifer singing,” Ella said hold out a thumb drive, “But he’s the accompanying pianist on Delilah’s original demo tapes.”

“Thank you,” Linda said warmly. “Amenadiel found dozens of YouTube posts where someone at Lux recorded one of Lucifer’s sets on their phone, he plays them for Charlie but the sound quality doesn’t do him justice.”

“Linda,” Ella said tentatively. “You’d tell me if… If Lucifer were dead right? Because, you know, Chloe’s a mess and,” she gestured to the thumb drive, “this. It’s like -um- you and Amenadiel want Charlie to know who his Uncle -um- was. Like you don’t think he’s ever going to meet Lucifer for himself. But you guys wouldn’t hide something like_ that_, right?” She giggled, high pitched and nervous. “I mean Chloe’s a cop and Lucifer was _fine_ the last time I saw him and then he was just gone… He doesn’t answer his phone, emails, texts- And if he’s dead and you’re covering it up… Chloe would _never_ do that- Maze, sure, no question, I mean telling the police would totally get in the way of her slowly torturing whoever did it to death, but not you or Chloe.”

“Lucifer’s not dead,” Linda said. “He had to go back to- To where he came from.” She thought, _‘He’s in Hell. As far as we know he isn’t -can’t- come back.’_

“Where there are no phones? He couldn’t even leave an address?” Ella exclaimed. “I totally can’t see him as Amish but, seriously, I can do snail mail if that’s the only option.”

Linda shook her head. She bit her lip, her eyes watering.

“Could you tell me again how he’s not dead and try to sound convincing this time?” Ella begged. “‘Cause I’m getting seriously scared here.”

Linda looked away. _‘I wish I could,’_ she thought. _‘Lucifer may not have died but he’s trapped in Hell all the same and the distinction is a little hard for me to see.’_

* * *

Chloe took out a notebook as Amenadiel settled into the chair she’d indicated, on the opposite side of her kitchen table.

“Linda said you had questions for me?” he asked.

“Yes,” Chloe said sternly. “And just so you know, that shit about blood-packs and ultra-thin kevlar didn’t fly when I was actively trying to suppress any thoughts about Lucifer being supernatural. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t try to lie to me again.”

“I am sorry about that Chloe,” Amenadiel said sincerely. “At the time, I believed it was of utmost importance to keep knowledge of the Divine from all humans. I would still be cautious about sharing this information indiscriminately but I know that you are entitled to answers.”

Chloe nodded sharply. “I’ve already spoken to Maze and Linda,” she warned him. “But there are things I’d still like some clarification on.”

Amenadiel spread his hands slightly, inviting her questions.

“Okay,” Chloe took a deep breath. “Hell needs a king to prevent things like what happened at the Mayan? Demonic possession would be a regular thing if Lucifer hadn’t forbidden it?”

“Yes,” Amenadiel replied.

“And the King of Hell has to be a Celestial?”

“Yes.”

“That means you, your brothers and sisters, your parents and Charlie?”

Amenadiel hesitated. “That is a comprehensive list of Celestials.”

“How many siblings do you and Lucifer have?”

“Chloe-“ Amenadiel protested.

“I’m not suggesting Charlie,” Chloe said quickly. “And I’ve learnt my lesson about trusting unsubstantiated stories… After all, apparently none of the major religions noticed that _you_ exist.”

“I did avoid interacting with humanity until just recently,” Amenadiel replied.

“So I’m not putting stock in seven archangels, or even the concept of archangels vs other angels, when I find more sources agreeing on the number seven than on who the seven are. Still, I always got the impression from Lucifer that your family was large,” Chloe continued.

Amenadiel nodded.

“So why has Lucifer been stuck with Hell since the dawn of humanity?” Chloe demanded. “I checked with Maze, even factoring in him living in L.A. for nine years he still averages a month or two per _century_ outside of Hell and that’s time he stole, nothing he was _allowed_. Is ruling Hell his punishment? Because if it is-”

“No,” Amenadiel interrupted. “It’s not a punishment. Lucifer- no Samael was created to rule Hell. His ordained purpose was to drive out and contain darkness; physical darkness when Father ordered him to light the stars, metaphorical darkness as the keeper of Hell. Ruling Hell is only a punishment because Lucifer makes it one.”

“You know that’s worse don’t you?” Chloe asked quietly. “When I first started digging into all the stories about Lucifer it didn’t make any sense that someone who didn’t have free will could want it. How could you want _anything_ if you didn’t _have_ free will to start with? But from what you’re saying, Lucifer -all of you, any of you- you can _want_ something other than the purpose you were created for but you can’t escape that purpose. Lucifer wants the wrong things according to you Father so ruling Hell becomes a punishment to him, one he’s suffered since… What? The dawn of humanity? ...And me, how do I fit in? Maze told me I’m a ‘miracle’? That you ‘blessed’ my parents? What does that even mean?” Chloe demanded. “What does your Father want from me?”

“I don’t know,” Amenadiel said. “My Father hasn’t assigned humans a name since Eve, you’re not designed to fulfill a purpose the way angels are. Chloe, my Father directed that you be born and you’re immune to Lucifer’s powers but not to my powers, or any other angel’s as far as we know, take from that what you will. But, from what I have observed, every attempt to determine Father’s reason for creating you has resulted in misery. Some things are not meant to be known.”

Chloe frowned, “Well, here’s one more indisputable fact: Lucifer returned to Hell. He willingly assumed a role he hates. He left with no expectation that he would be any less miserable for going willingly. He left because it was the only way he could see to keep us, the Earth safe. And,” Chloe took a deep breath, “I don’t think I’m overstating it to think that protecting me was a big part of why he made that choice. So, tell me I’m wrong Amenadiel but when I think about the effect I’ve had on Lucifer’s life… I don’t see the difference between your Father and Father Kinley. I feel used! I feel like I was made to be a weapon against someone I love. And I hate it! Tell me your Father’s plan wasn’t to use me to back Lucifer into a corner he couldn’t get out of.”

“I can’t. I told you, I don’t know what my Father’s plan is,” Amenadiel sighed.

“Because right now?” Chloe continued over him. “All I want is to pick-up where Lucifer left off and find a way to derail this damned plan of your Father’s. It’s not right to put that on Lucifer alone! It’s not fair! And I’m _not_ going to stand by and let him be sacrificed like this!”

* * *

Lucifer walked down the street outside of the Lux, his arm around a pretty blond in a fluffy coat, “Delilah darling, tell me what’s holding you down.”

Delilah smiled sadly as a car slowed, a gun appearing in the window. “All you asked was for me to get my life together.”

“No,” Lucifer shouted. He tucked Delilah in tight against him, the bullets impacting against his back didn’t even rate a flinch. There was a horrendous screech of metal on metal as the shooter’s car collided fatally with a bus. Lucifer stepped back from Delilah, his hands still cupping her shoulders as he crouched a bit to catch her eye. “It wasn’t your fault,” he told her sincerely. “You just needed more time. And now you can have it.”

Delilah shook her head. “I’m so sorry,” she said as her knees gave out.

Lucifer looked down and saw the red of blood blossoming on her dress, on his shirt. He drew himself up to his full height, “No,” he stated firmly and the street around them froze. He smiled, the blood vanished from his shirt as he offered Delilah his hand. “Darling, I’m the Devil. You’ve no cause for guilt on my behalf. No cause for guilt at all.”

She looked up at him from where she sat on the pavement, blood pooling around her. “I had so much… And I wasted it all,” she said mournfully.

Then it was all gone. Lucifer sat at a piano in a recording studio. “Darling, for _this_? You owe me nothing,” he heard himself tell Delilah. “After all, I doubt you’ll have time to sing with me once the producers I contacted listen to this demo.”

“Are you sure I’m good enough?” the blond asked, her voice full of uncertainty.

“You have no idea how much I’m going to regret losing you to stardom,” Lucifer assured her.

The buzz of the intercom interrupted them. “We’re on a schedule!” the guy in the control room groused.

“Creten,” Lucifer muttered, Delilah giggled and he started to play. A moment later Delilah’s voice rose in counterpoint, beautiful as he remembered and agonizingly painful… The only music that could exist in Hell was that which was ladened with misery. Before the song ended Lucifer stepped back, as he walked away a memory-ghost of him seamlessly resumed its place in Delilah’s loop.

He opened the door walked out of the recording studio into an endless corridor of doors. Ash rained down on him. Lucifer leaned back against the door and slowly slid down it. “Darling Delilah,” he sighed, “How do I make you believe me? You’ve nothing to feel guilty for.”

A shadow fell across him. Lucifer glanced up with an irritated frown that morphed into surprise. “What are you?” he demanded as he scrambled to his feet.


	2. Venture into Hell

Azrael flew toward the gates of the Silver City, hidden beneath her red cloak she was wringing her hands nervously. “I should just go down and see what’s up,” she muttered to herself. “I mean I go to the gates all the time, what’s the big deal if I step in and take a quick look. I said I was going to visit ages ago anyway.”

When Azrael landed the angel guarding the gates looked up from scowling suspiciously at the line of souls moving past him. He wore armor-like golden robes with a sword slung across his back. “Azrael, why are you here?” he snapped. “I haven’t found any undesirables lately. You’d better not be bringing another of your pity cases. Father gave them guilt for a reason, it’s not for us to second guess it.”

“Unless they_ lack_ proper guilt and we don’t want them here?” Azrael asked innocently. “Come on Mike, we all know about fanatics and sociopaths by now. Why is it so hard for you to believe that mistakes go both ways? But that’s not why I’m here today. When I was escorting a soul downstairs I- I sensed my blade being drawn to the Infernal plane.”

Michael’s gaze sharpened. “Lucifer is trying to reassemble the Flaming Sword again?”

“We don’t know that!” Azrael protested. “It doesn’t even make sense! Why would Lu have split it between Universes if he wanted it?”

“You were right to bring this to my attention,” Michael declared as he closed the gates. “After what he did to Uriel who knows what he’s capable of.” He folded his hands in prayer for a moment.

“What was Lu supposed to do? Uri went nuts, stole my sword and ran off to destroy Mom and kill Lu’s Detective!”

“Father didn’t stop Uriel, he must have approved,” Michael said dismissively.

“Yeah well, Dad didn’t stop Lu from destroying Uri so, by your logic, He must approve of what Lu did, right?” Azrael shot back.

Michael glared at her sternly as Remiel appeared above the wall and landed next to them. “What’s happened?” she asked.

“We must head off Lucifer’s imminent attack on the Gates of Heaven,” Michael declared as he spread his wings.

Remiel nodded and fell in behind him. They launched themselves into the air and vanished.

Azrael chased after them. “You’re just ticked because Lu stopped Mom from assaulting your precious Gates without any help from you!” Azrael cried as they appeared outside the Gates of Hell. “Stop jumping to conclusions! We don’t _know_ why my sword’s being pulled here!”

“I won’t be surprised by what we find,” Remiel replied sharply. “Mayhap this is how Father intends to restore your sword, Sister. That would be one less thing out of place in this universe.”

“If we do get the sword back, I should keep it,” Michael declared. “Then I wouldn’t have to keep calling you to deal with the mis-sorts.”

“Why don’t you ask Lu to freeze Hell over while you’re at it,” Azrael snapped. “We fight about half the souls you reject and Raz has had me pick up a dozen you missed because their loops were so repulsive he couldn’t stand it.”

“Seeing the patterns of their lives isn’t my domain, it’s Uriel’s,” Michael complained. “I’m doing the best I can.”

Azrael winced. “I know. We’ve all been doing the best we can… Ever since Dad stopped talking to us.”

“Are we going to stand here all day?” Remiel asked with a gesture to towering, grey Gates of Hell.

The three angels spread their wings and vanished. They appeared on the other side of the foreboding wall a moment later. The narrow corridors and angular, door-covered towers of Hell extended all the way to the walls, in fact pushing the walls out as ever more space was required. Ash rained down on the three angels as they began trekking through the maze that was Hell. “Stay on the ground,” Michael ordered. “Flying we’re a tempting target for any demon walking below.”

As they ventured deeper and deeper into Hell swirls of Primordial Darkness joined the ever-present ash-fall filling the air. Michael and Remiel traded a wary look then Remiel fell back so that Azrael was between them.

“What is that?” Azrael asked as she watched several eddies of Darkness combine into a ribbon as thick as an I-beam.

Michael shushed her. He and Remiel scanned the surrounding corridors on high alert. Then Remiel cried out in triumph and darted down a side path. Michael chivied Azrael after her, they rounded the corner and saw Remiel standing over a demon with her spear at it’s throat, the misshapen creature was slumped against one of Hell’s innumerable doors.

“What did you do?” Azrael exclaimed when she saw the demon’s hands clasped over a gaping wound in it’s gut, threads of Darkness seeping from between it’s fingers like blood.

“Found a live one,” Remiel reported.

Michael nodded to her. “Demon, what has happened?” he demanded leveling his sword at the demon’s throat as well.

“Angels, feather-brains the lot of you,” the demon sneered.

“You will answer,” Remiel ordered pressing her spear forward threateningly.

“‘M already dead,” the demon said. It’s hands fell away from it’s wound and the Darkness spilled out. In moments it’s body was gone, added to the swirling Darkness flowing through the corridors of Hell.

Azrael glanced around at the swirls with horrified eyes, “Those eddies, they’re dead demons?” she realized. “All of them?”

Michael nodded absently. “What do you think?” he said to Remiel. “An uprising?”

“Weaklings like that couldn’t pose a threat to any angel,” she declared. “Lucifer would have put it down out of hand.”

“But there’s so many of them,” Azrael said worrying her lower lip with her teeth. “Swarm decks are thing for a reason guys.”

“We still need to find out why he’s trying to reclaim the Blade,” Michael said. “Azrael, if you have any idea where it’s being drawn to in the Infernal Plane, I’d like to get a move on it.”

“Yeah, I think...” Azrael took a deep breath and pointed.

Michael gestured for Remiel to scout ahead while he glued himself to Azrael’s side. They moved out at a fast march. Several minutes later Remiel dropped back. “We’re headed towards that ridiculous spire Lucifer uses for a throne,” she said.

“No surprise there,” Michael said. At Azrael’s indignant look he added, “It’s the only reference feature in this whole realm, of course it’s the rallying point for anything that happens here.”

They pressed onward until suddenly the endless corridors of Hell opened up to reveal a narrow plain crawling with demons around the base of the spire. Azrael gasped at the sight of Lucifer’s white wings spread unnaturally wide and streaked with blood where a half dozen demon blades pinned them to the spire leaving his feet dangling. A rift hung in front of Lucifer, a rippling mirage warping reality. “He was the last one to touch the blade,” Remiel said. “They’re using him as a focus to draw it back.”

Michael stood up, drawing his sword. “Rae-Rae get out of here!” he ordered. When Azrael hesitated he barked, “Go now! We’ll be right behind you, with Sam.”

Reflexively Azrael leapt into the sky. She glanced back to see Michael and Remiel smashing into the crowd of demons with all the subtlety of wrecking balls. Azrael pulled up and folded her hands, “Amenadiel, Gabriel we need back-up,” she prayed. “Rafael, get ready for patients, Lu definitely.”

A moment later Azrael heard her oldest brother’s voice in the back of her head. _//Azrael, we’re coming.//_

Azrael took a deep breath then willed herself invisible. She wasn’t sure if it actually worked on demons, _‘But it’s not like they aren’t already distracted,’_ she thought with a glance at the clouds of Primordial Darkness billowing up around Michael and Remiel as they cleaved their way through the crowd of demons.

Azrael flew over the fighting to where Lucifer was pinned to the spire. “Lu, we’ll get you out of here,” she said not letting herself really look at him as she grabbed the first of the demon blades. She planted her foot on the vertical cliff above his wing and put her whole body into pulling it free. Lucifer groaned as his wings shifted around the five remaining blades. “I’m sorry, sorry,” Azrael muttered as she moved to his other side and grabbed a second blade.

The metal screeched as it pulled free of the rock. “Oh shit,” Azrael muttered as the sound drew the attention of a number of demons. She grabbed the two remaining blades in that wing, one in each hand, and shoved herself away from the cliff with her feet. There was a sharp sound of bone breaking was almost covered by a short, cut off scream as Lucifer’s weight swung onto the remaining blades, snapping the ulna and radius in his right wing.

Azrael fell back, her hands covering her mouth. Then Michael was there, he braced his shoulder and extended wing against Lucifer’s chest and ripped out the remaining knives in quick succession, throwing them into the horde that Remiel was still holding off on her own. “I told you to go!” he shouted at Azrael as he roughly bundled Lucifer’s wings around him then grabbed him around the chest and leapt into the air. Azrael took flight a moment later. Remiel continued fighting, waiting until Michael had gained some altitude before following suit.

It wasn’t long before the air was full of projectiles. Michael pumped his wings, fighting for speed despite Lucifer’s awkward mass. Remiel dove at the demons beneath them, trying to scatter the forces arrayed against them. Then Amenadiel, Gabriel and four of their other siblings were streaking past them, sending the crowd of demons into a panicked retreat. A few minutes later the ten angels arrived at the Gates of Hell. They pulled up for a moment then blinked out of existence and reappeared on the far side of the wall.

Then Michael cursed as Lucifer regained consciousness and began struggling. Blood-slick feathers slipped through Michael’s grasp. Lucifer fell, somehow grabbing Michael’s sword as he did. He landed on his knees outside the Gates, wings falling limply around his shoulders. “Won’t catch me by surprise again,” he snarled at all of them, sword in hand, fire in his eyes.

“Samael! Give me back my sword and stop being an idiot. We’re rescuing you,” Michael snapped.

“Stay away from her!” Lucifer snarled, garnering confused looks from his siblings.

“What’s he talking about?” Gabriel asked.

“I don’t think he recognizes us,” Azrael interjected. “Humans get like that when they’re hurt.”

“He’s not human,” Remiel argued.

“Yeah well-” Azrael pointed at Lucifer, blearily blinking fiery eyes, snarling, Michael’s sword wavering in his weakening grip, as if to say, ‘You have a better explanation?’

Amenadiel stepped forward, hands held up placatingly. “Luci, calm down. No one is threatening Chloe. We’re going to take you-“

“No where,” Lucifer interrupted with a maniacal grin. He flipped the sword so the blade rested against his own throat. “You’ll take me nowhere.”

A woman with Meditrainean features and the broad, ashy-brown wings of a crane appeared behind Lucifer. She calmly slammed the edge of her hand into the back of his skull, removing the sword from his hand and catching him in a smooth move.

“Raffie!” Amenadiel protested.

“Isn’t arguing with Sam when he’s in his right mind painful enough to dissuade anyone from trying it when he’s not?” the woman asked, unrepentant. She turned to Michael. “You, take our brother to my infirmary. I’ll keep this,” she said with a nod to his sword, “until we’ve arrived, in case he wakes up again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if Lucifer being absent from Hell is a problem then shouldn't there be some sort of issues caused by Uriel being really, permanently dead?


	3. Back to the City of Angels

When Rafael stepped out of her infirmary she found Remiel sitting on her step. “You’re finally done? Lucifer’s ready to go back to Hell?” the young warrior angel asked. Then she continued without pause. “I thought I could escort him down, make sure he actually gets there. Then I’ll let Michael know he can come back and re-open the Gates of Heaven, there’s starting to be a back-up. Do humans ever stop dying?”

“No, they don’t, it’s part and parcel of being mortal. I’m going to the Library to consult with Raziel,” Rafael said. Tiredly she twisted her long dark brown hair into a messy bun and shoved pin through it to hold it in place. “Samael’s injuries aren’t responding to treatment.”

Remiel shook her head in denial, “Raffie, that’s crazy. The divinity in our feathers can heal anything,” she protested as she followed the older angel through the streets of the Silver City.

“And yet I’ve barely done more for Samael than the demons did when they cauterized the worst of his wounds,” Rafael replied. She sighed, “I’ve had to resort to humans cures patch over the damage. He should be awake and free of delirium before day’s end, if you want to see him.”

Remiel glanced back in the direction of the infirmary. “Why would I want- It’s not like I have anything to say to _him_,” she sputtered. “Although, I suppose we need to know what happened. If he’s in no condition to return to his duties then it falls to us to clean up his mess, doesn’t it. It makes tactical sense to learn what defeated him before we engage.”

“Of course, Remi, it makes _tactical sense_ to visit your injured brother,” Rafael said dryly. “And when you relieve Mike it will only make sense for him to get it straight from the horse’s mouth, I’m certain.”

“Let me know when Lucifer’s awake and capable of reporting,” Remiel said, nodding farewell to Rafael. “I want to see if Amenadiel has any thoughts on opening the Gates of Heaven without Michael or Uriel to man them.”

Much later Rafael retraced her path, a stack of books balanced on one hip. This time it was Amenadiel sitting on her step. “I know better than to invade your territory without permission,” he said with a hopeful smile, “But I was hoping visiting hours were on the menu.”

“I will gladly leave you in charge of entertaining him while I try to determine why I try to determine why he’s not healing,” Rafael replied.

Amenadiel bit his lip then said, “If Luci’s not in any danger, I could get him out of your hair. Linda and I would be happy to keep an eye on him for you.” He opened the door and held it for Rafael.

“On Earth?” Rafael’s voice rose in disbelief. “You’ve told me that he’s mortal when he’s near Father’s Miracle and when _aren’t_ humans discovering new means of killing one another?”

“He could maintain a safe distance from Detective Decker,” Amenadiel offered, sounding unconvincing even to himself.

“Samael, I’m back,” Rafael called. Only silence answered her.

“Who did you leave to watch him?” Amenadiel asked.

“It hasn’t been that long,” Rafael said with a frown. “Samael knows better than to leave my care without my express approval.”

“Did you secure his word that he _wouldn’t_ leave?” Amenadiel asked.

“He had only shifted from unconsciousness to sleep when I left,” Rafael replied. “I laid out some books and a note instructing him not to strain any of his injuries. He knows better than to leave,” she repeated.

“I’ll just go look for him,” Amenadiel offered. “Can he fly?”

“I had to splint his wing. He shouldn’t,” Rafael said absently as she folded her hands to pray. “Samael, I want you back in bed this instant!”

“Luci won’t answer to that name,” Amenadiel said shaking his head. He started toward the door.

“It’s his _name_,” Rafael said primly. “I won’t address him by that outdated title he prefers.”

Amenadiel sighed heavily and spread his wings. He had a fairly good guess as to where Lucifer had gone and didn’t foresee any possibility of bringing him back without a fight.

* * *

Dan Espinoza was finishing up the paperwork from his last case when Lucifer Morningstar strolled into the precinct if he hadn’t disappeared without a word years earlier. “Douche,” Lucifer greeted Dan but his gaze only paused for a moment before he went back to scanning the room.

Lucifer frowned at Chloe’s empty desk and Dan felt a rush of anger as he thought about the devastation Lucifer had left in the wake of his disappearance… Then Dan remembered his regrets and bit back the words:_ ‘Are you back or just back long enough to break her heart again?’_ While he mentally counted to ten, Dan took a second, longer look at Lucifer, _‘His suit’s loose, he’s lost more than a little weight. Too quickly to get the suit refitted? Because Lucifer definitely would, that or he’d just get a new suit. And what’s with the jacket over the shoulder? Calculated casual isn’t exactly his thing. ...His parlor’s off. Has he been sick? Did Chloe know? Is that why she’s been so defensive of him even when he ditched her? -Apparently ditched her.’_

“You look like you’ve been through hell man,” Dan found himself saying.

Lucifer smiled brittlely, “On the nose Daniel. One might think you were a detective.” He twisted around to check if any of the interrogation rooms where busy.

“Chloe caught a case earlier this morning,” Dan said.

“To be expected I suppose,” Lucifer sighed. “Would you have an address? I’m not certain how long I’ll be allowed to stay and she’d kill me if I returned to Earth and failed to see her.”

“L.A., you’re back in L.A.,” Dan corrected rolling his eyes.

“Lucifer!” Ella exclaimed. She immediately wrapped the former consultant in an enthusiastic hug.

Lucifer flinched violently. The jacket fell off his shoulder, revealing an empty, neatly pinned sleeve.

“Lucifer, my God, what happened?” Dan asked in shock.

“For once, I’m all but certain Dad had nothing to do with it,” Lucifer said as Ella hustled both of them into her lab.

“I’m calling Chloe,” the forensic scientist declared. She glanced at Lucifer, sympathy and worry pouring off of her. “You probably don’t want to put yourself through explaining twice.”

Lucifer shrugged elegantly as he resettled his jacket to camouflage his missing limb. “What is there to say? I was careless. As a result I’ve been granted a furlough from Hell in which to regroup and recover, my first officially sanctioned vacation one might say… Not that anyone bothered to ask _where_ I wanted to take it.”

“Are you okay?” Ella asked, eyes shining with sympathy.

Dan winced at the question but Lucifer only grinned, “If I’d known this was what it took to get a little time off I would have done it myself eons ago… Not that Amenadiel gave up on sending me back to Hell after I had Maze cut off both my wings and then burned them. This time they my sibling dragged me bodily back to the Silver City.” He shook his head as if baffled by his sibling’s behavior.

Dan tried and failed to wrap his head around Lucifer equating the cosplay wings that had been stolen from him years ago with the loss of a very real arm.

Lucifer glanced around warily, “Actually if you see one of my siblings loitering about, give me a warning. I’d prefer to avoid another Devil-napping.”

“Snuck out of the hospital?” Dan asked, earning a confirming grin.

“Your family’s probably worried sick,” Ella scolded.

“Hypocrites the lot of them, pretending they care,” Lucifer muttered darkly.

“Lucifer?” The three of them turn to see Chloe enter, Amenadiel a step behind her.

“Detective,” Lucifer breathed.

Dan watched Chloe fit herself carefully against Lucifer’s side and assumed that Amenadiel had updated her about his injury.

Then, with a pout, Lucifer added, “You spoiled my entrance. You were supposed to be here.”

“What can I say, I was assigned a case,” Chloe replied patting Lucifer’s chest.

Lucifer leaned toward her, brushing his cheek across the top of her head. “Were you now? Well, I suppose we’d best be about it then.”

“Luci!” Amenadiel scolded. “You’ve barely quite bleeding. Even if you won’t stay with Raffie you have to take it easy!”

“For Dad’s sake, this was cauterized ages ago,” Lucifer said with a roll of his eyes and a nod towards his missing arm. “Would have been disastrous for them had I actually died and, unfortunately, they knew it. Be sure to let Rafael know that Bedial’s efforts on my behalf were more effective than hers, would you? Of course he was more motivated.”

“We’re trying to help you Luci,” Amenadiel protested. For his trouble he earned a sneer from his younger brother.

“I’m headed to a high school to do interviews,” Chloe interjected. “It shouldn’t be dangerous, they’re not even suspects.”

“Then why are we bothering?” Lucifer asked, his attention refocusing on her.

“Possible arson, killed almost an entire family. The fifteen year old son, Jeff Mulcahy, is missing,” Chloe said. “I’m hoping his friends will have some leads.” She turned back to Amenadiel. “If anything more exciting than talking comes up, Lucifer can wait in the car.”

“I _could_ wait,” Lucifer confirmed eyes alight with mischief.

“AKA he won’t wait,” Dan whispered to Ella. “Not lying and honest aren’t even in the same zip code when it comes to that guy.”

From the look Amenadiel turned on Chloe he wasn’t fooled by his younger brother either. Amenadiel clearly expected Chloe to help wrangle a real promise from Lucifer. But Chloe just smiled up at Lucifer and after a moment Amendiel sighed and confronted his brother himself. “Lucifer, have you forgotten her effect on you? Given what they attempted, and your current condition, you can’t take any risks!”

“Bravo Brother, you’ve almost managed to sound like you care.” Lucifer raised his hand as if preparing to applaud only to realize that he couldn’t complete the gesture. For a moment they all froze. “Almost,” Lucifer repeated dropping his hand. “But no prize.”

“Luci, we do care!” Amenadiel protested determinedly.

“Oh, of course,” Lucifer replied with a bright, plastic grin that immediately morphed into a snarl. “I suppose it has occurred to you lot that, if I am DEAD, then one of YOU will, by necessity, have the singular honor of assuming my place in Father’s grand design and ruling Hell. Oh the horror of it! One of Father’s loyal, _righteous_ children forced into the position I never wanted! Whatever would you do were I dead and no longer available to do Father’s dirty work? Quarrel among yourself as who is _deserving_ of such an honor? _Question_ Father if he selects you? What _would_ you do were the role of universal scapegoat be left vacant? So of course you care, Brother! Of course you do.” Fury faded into raw hurt as Lucifer finished.

Amenadiel’s expression crumpled into misery. “If you die now-“ he broke off, unable to continue.

“Amenadiel, why don’t you tag along,” Chloe suggested carefully. “If anything more than talking occurs you’ll be there to intervene.”

Lucifer gave a put upon sigh. “If the Detective wishes it then I must give you leave to hover. You or Azrael. If any of the others attempt to get close to me, I swear, there will be bloodshed.” With that Lucifer swept out, Chloe at his side, Amenadiel trailing after him.

Dan and Ella stood in the door to the lab and watched them go. “Man, he is _dedicated_ to his method acting,” Ella said.

Dan shook his head. “I don’t know where ‘Hell’ translates to in the real world,” he said. “But this isn’t the first time Lucifer’s come from there with actual injuries. He’s got scars on his back, Ella. Huge, symmetrical scars. And everything I dug up about him says he came to L.A. with them...”

“Symmetrical scars?”

“Yeah,” Dan confirmed.

“So, we’re not talking heavy machinery ‘I was careless’ then,” Ella said.

Dan shook his head. “Not likely. ‘Hell’ is probably less of an exaggeration than we’d like to think.”

Ella thought for several moments. “Lucifer said this was a _vacation_. He’s going to go _back_.” Determination filled her eyes. “I’m not gonna stand by and let him.” She gave Dan a narrow eyed look, “That means no more shit from you!”

Dan held up his hands in surrender, “I was out of line, way outta line, I know that. I nearly got both him and Trixie killed, there is no way I’d go back to acting like that.”

“You better not,” Ella said. She smiled brightly and put a friendly hand on Dan’s shoulder. “I’ll be watching, for your sake too. Friends help each other.”

“Yeah, I won’t say no to a supplemental conscience,” Dan said. He looked thoughtful, “There should be hospital records, police reports. Maybe we can figure out who hurt him.”

“That’s a great idea,” Ella said enthusiastically. “I’ve got alerts set up to ping me if a John Doe matching his description enters the system… With Interpol as well as most US databases. So he must have used a fake name.”

“Or his actual name,” Dan suggested.

“I’ll redefine my search,” Ella said.

She turned back to her lab then stifled a yelp at the sight of a small teenager with a pageboy cut peering through the blinds. Ella glanced worriedly at Dan then smiled oddly, “No time like the present,” she declared as she shooed him away and slammed the door behind him.

“Rae-Rae!” Ella hissed. “I thought we agreed: Hanging out is fine but not at work!”

“Not hanging, hiding,” Azrael explained in a whisper without looking away from the window.

“The invisible ghost girl’s hiding? From who!?” Ella demanded.

“My brother,” Azrael said as she ducked so only her eyes and the top of her head were poking up.

“Is your brother a ghost too?” Ella asked rushing over to the window. “Does it run in your family, turning into ghosts?”

“Lu’s not a ghost,” Azrael said as Ella caught a last glimpse of Lucifer and Chloe heading out to the garage.

“Lu? Lucifer? Oh my God! You’re Lucifer’s sister?” Ella’s eyes popped wide. “Lucifer is his REAL name.”

“Well, sort of,” Azrael prevaricated.

“And your other brother is Amenadiel, which is a sort of Angel-y name. And you used to complain about your asshole brothers Mike and Uri- Michael and Uriel?!? And- And Rae-Rae, Azrael?! Your full name is AZRAEL? Like the Angel of Death, Azrael?”

Azrael looked queasy as she nodded. “It’s not like you’re thinking-”

“Dude, don’t take this the wrong way,” Ella continued. “But your parents are _messed up_, big time! What were they thinking giving you and Lucifer names like that? -I mean, you know that I think the Devil gets a bad rap and death is just a natural part of life. Of course you know! You’re the first person I’d always talk to when I had questions about faith- But still! Names like that? Were your parents trying to give you a complex?”

Azrael sagged with relief. “You could sort of say that,” she said with a weak smile. “I didn’t see it back then but I’ve seen stuff, you know, being a ghost and all… I mean, my family likes to pretend that everything was great before Lu started acting out. Only Mom and Dad were already fighting… And I- well- I sort of think they used to use Lu to fight through.”

“Shit,” Ella swore. “Wait- You shouldn’t be telling me stuff like this! I don’t think Lucifer would like it. And you! You shouldn’t be hiding at a time like this,” Ella scolded. “You’re his _family_. I get it: Your family’s all fucked up, mine is too so I’m talking from experience here. It doesn’t matter! He needs you.”

“It’s not that simple,” Azrael protested. “I always _meant_ to go see Lu after he got kicked out. I _really_ meant to but I didn’t and you heard him just now! He thinks none of us give a shit about him. It’s bad Lopez, real bad. Lu doesn’t say things unless he means it! He can’t even imagine we’d rescue him except to use him. I didn’t mean to abandon him, I didn’t.”

Ella’s mouth dropped open, “Rae-Rae? Did IT happen after Lucifer got kicked out? Does he even know you’re dead?”

“Ummm no? No, Lucifer does not know I’m dead,” Azrael latched on to the conclusion Ella had leapt to like it was a life-line. “And I’d like to keep it that way, hence the hiding.”

* * *

Chloe stayed glued to Lucifer’s side as they entered the parking garage beneath the precinct. “How- how long do we have?” Chloe asked, dreading the answer.

“Micheal and Remi will guard the Gates of Hell until Luci’s well,” Amenadiel declared.

“Or until they decide I’m malingering,” Lucifer added, falsely cheerful.

“No! Luci,” Amenadiel protested.

“I trust the help of my siblings who art in Heaven as far- Well as far as Charlie can throw you, Brother-dear,” Lucifer exclaimed. “Which is why I came here, to people I actually trust, to-” He turned to Chloe, suddenly looking uncertain and guilty. “I wanted to come home, to heal, but me being here. I’m hurting you again aren’t I?”

“No!” Chloe said immediately, leaning into him. “Here is exactly where you should be. _Never_ hesitate to come home. I’ll take you here, now, for however long we have... Even if it means watching you leave again.”

“There is nowhere I’d rather be,” Lucifer replied his voice softening. “For as long as I can.”


	4. Catching Up

“We were hoping to speak with some of Jeff Mulcahy’s friends,” Chloe told the school’s counselor. She chose not to look at the sound of scuffling behind her.

The councilor’s mouth fell open as Lucifer stamped on Amenadiel’s foot. “He’s being rude,” Lucifer explained blithely. “I can hardly elbow him if he persists in crowding my left side.”

“I’m just-“ Amenadiel began.

Chloe groaned. “You, over there,” she ordered pointing Amenadiel toward the door while tugging Lucifer’s shoulder to put herself between the two of them. “Everyone happy?”

Amenadiel considered the room and grudgingly nodded when he realized that Chloe had left him with control over the only egress. And, somehow, in the process of separating Lucifer and Amenadiel, Chloe had ended up with Lucifer’s chest pressed firmly against her back. He showed no interest in moving away from her. Even when Lucifer started running his hand lightly up and down her arm Chloe realized she had no interest in trying to enforce a professional distance between them.

Chloe put her hand over Lucifer’s and smiled at the counselor. “You were saying?”

“Oh- Yes, Jeff,” the counselor stammered. “I can’t really help you. He’s something of a loner, not involved in any school activities, average grades although his tests indicate that he should be doing better… Nothing at all like his older sister. I spent a lot of time with Kelly last year, helping her with her college applications, honors student, star of the volleyball team. Such a wonderful girl, very intelligent, very athletic-”

“And very dead,” Lucifer interrupted callously. Both Chloe and Amenadiel winced. “Her brother might not be.” He grinned preditorially as he leaned into Chloe a bit. “_Jeff_ might have killed her. So shall we focus on him for a moment?”

Chloe tapped Lucifer’s hand in a subtle reprimand. “We need to find Jeff,” she said. “He’s missing. He may be in danger. He might have information about what happened to his family. Do you have any idea of where he would go or who he would talk to?”

“I’m sorry,” the counselor said.

“Lab partners… Even students who he has multiple classes with?” Chloe asked, grasping at straws. A trace on Jeff’s cell phone had failed. So far, beyond the lack of a body, there was nothing at the crime scene to indicate whether or not Jeff had been home that night or even that week.

A half-hour later the first of the students on the list they’d put together slunk into the conference room. His mouth dropped open at the sight of Lucifer and Chloe staring soulfully into each other’s eyes. Amenadiel gave the boy a sympathetic eye-roll and cleared his throat loudly before turning around. Lucifer smirked. Chloe blushed. Amenadiel groaned.

* * *

“Thanks for squeezing me in,” Dan said as he sat on the edge of Linda’s couch, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor.

“I’m glad you called,” Linda said. “Did something happen?”

“You probably know Lucifer’s back?” Dan asked.

Linda smiled awkwardly, “Yes I heard. He is practically my brother-in-law as well my patient.”

“Yeah,” Dan sighed. “Should I- Is this okay? Talking to you about Lucifer? I mean, we have, a lot but he was gone then and-”

“It’s not ideal,” Linda admitted. “But-”

“-It’s Lucifer,” Dan agreed. “You know, it would almost make more sense if he actually was the Devil.”

“Wouldn’t it just?” Linda said wryly. “I can recommend a different therapist if you’re not comfortable talking to me about Lucifer.”

Dan shook his head, “If I tried to explain Lucifer to someone who hadn’t met him they’d probably think he was some sort of Tyler Durden thing.”

“The there’s the department psychiatrist,” Linda suggested. “He has met Lucifer.”

“That’s one way to put it,” Dan pulled a face. “We had to interview two months worth of his hook-ups once, the staff psychiatrist and his wife were both on the list. At least you-”

Linda couldn’t help the blush that stained her cheeks.

“-Don’t rave about whatever the hell he did with you in bed,” Dan concluded. “It’s a little weird, how intertwined everything is. But I’m okay with it if you are. I knew you were pregnant with Amenadiel’s kid the first time I showed up at your office.”

“So what’s bothering you?” Linda asked.

“I don’t know. You’d think it’d be a relief. I mean, you and Amenadiel both told me he wasn’t dead but, well- Did I tell you about what he was saying right before he vanished? About hating himself? I’ve been expecting- But, yeah, it didn’t happen, thank God. I should feel relieved, instead I feel,” Dan sighed heavily. “Out sync?”

Linda gestured for him to go on.

“You know how I blamed him for Charlotte and the shit I was pulling back then: After she died, before he vanished. I think Lucifer telling me point blank that he wasn’t responsible for Charlotte dying- I think I always knew but hearing it was the kick I needed to get me here, looking for help. And since then I’ve done a lot to patch things up with everyone… Except him. Lucifer was just gone before I was ready. I know I was wrong to blame him for Charlotte but him leaving tore Chloe apart and- Seeing him yesterday, turns out I’m still mad at him but then- God, I thought I was gonna throw up when I saw his arm, I just felt so guilty.”

Linda winced but quickly forced herself to focus on the patient in front of her. “Why would you feel guilty?” she asked.

Dan gritted his teeth. “Because I wished it. The last real conversation we had? That was the one where he told me he hated himself. He was messed up and I- I tried to hurt him. Only this? His arm? When he first set up camp in Chloe’s life, I checked him out okay? Not exactly legal but wouldn’t you? Anyway, there were dozens of articles about Lucifer being a world class pianist, what a treat the music at Lux is but that’s nothing compared to actually seeing him play; he loves it and now he can’t. And I _wanted_ him to get hurt. God, I wanted this!”

“Dan,” Linda said firmly. “You had nothing to do with Lucifer’s injuries.”

“But I could have,” Dan said.

“In the past you’ve talked about feeling frustrated at how no one would hold you accountable for your actions after Charlotte died,” Linda said.

Dan nodded, “I know it wasn’t really the same but it reminded me of how my screwups with Malcolm got swept under the rug even though I nearly got Trixie and Chloe killed because I didn’t man-up sooner.”

“Do you expect- No, do you _want_ Lucifer to hold you accountable for what _might_ have happened two years ago?” Linda asked.

Dan closed his eyes and sighed, “Want? Yeah, probably. I was doing everything I could to hurt him and what does he do? He calls me names and pulls stupid pranks! I gave Malcolm the gun he planned to shoot Lucifer with and I know Lucifer _helped_ get me off for that.”

“You also confessed to prevent Lucifer from being framed,” Linda reminded him.

“His priorities are skewed,” Dan replied while thinking, _‘And he doesn’t know everything. He doesn’t know about Tiernan.’_

“Is that what you think now? If he doesn’t hold your actions two years ago against you?”

“Fuck, he’s missing an arm,” Dan said. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s totally forgotten my shit from back then. Doesn’t stop me from remembering, every time I look at him.”

Linda shrugged, “You’ve been here before haven’t you? Feeling like you need to make amends, even though no one is demanding restitution from you.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Dan said. He took a deep breath, “I can stop being.. a douche to him without explaining why. ‘Cause asking him to deal with my shit right now would be selfish. Actually... I’ve got to go talk to Ella. Thanks, Linda, you’ve been a big help.”

“It’s catching,” Linda muttered to herself as she watched Dan leap up and hurry out.

* * *

“Are you back at the Lux?” Chloe asked after they finished the interviews.

“He can stay with Linda and I,” Amenadiel answered before Lucifer could.

“I didn’t procreate,” Lucifer objected. “Why should I be subject to your spawn’s wailing at all hours?”

“Charlie has been sleeping through the night for more than a year now,” Amenadiel reported with both pride and relief.

“Oh,” Lucifer said quietly. He turned to Chloe. “I suppose Beatrice has also grown? Dating, I imagine?”

“Thankfully you and Dan are still the only boys worthy of her regard,” Chloe assured him. “But we are... negotiating make-up, past yes-no and on to how much.”

“If she needs any tips,” Lucifer offered.

Chloe laughed. “So yes to Lux? I’ll drop you off,” she said, something stirred uneasily in her chest as she did.

“My corvette’s still at the precinct,” Lucifer argued.

“No,” Chloe said shaking her head.

“What? Why?” Lucifer asked.

“It’s a manual,” Chloe said then she glanced at his missing arm and winced. “How’d you shift and not crash?”

“Well, I can put a knee against the wheel to keep it on course for a bit can’t I?” Lucifer exclaimed. “It’s not _that_ hard to manage.”

“It’s not safe!” Chloe protested. “And you look exhausted. I’ll drive you in tomorrow.”

“Stay overnight and I might think about it,” Lucifer offered with a salacious grin.

“I- Yeah,” Chloe said. “Actually, yeah, that sounds great. Trix is with Dan tonight, so yeah. I’ll clock out, stop by home and grab some clothes…” Chloe bit back the words, _‘And never let you out of my sight again.’_

“Detective…” Lucifer purred sensually. Then he threw a quick glance into the back seat. “Brother, I suggest you find somewhere else to be.”

“Too late, I already texted Linda, she’s meeting us at the penthouse,” Amenadiel said smugly.

Lucifer visibly pouted for several minutes then his expression smoothed over, “I was planning on speaking with dear Dr. Linda,” he allowed. “I suppose there is no purpose in putting it off.”

Twenty minutes later the elevator doors slid open to reveal Maze, posed challengingly in the middle of the penthouse while Linda stood near the couch with Charlie balanced on one hip. Chloe and Amenadiel froze, over the last two years they’d heard more than a few rants about how Maze intended to show Lucifer her appreciation for being left behind. Lucifer stepped away from Chloe and Linda, meeting Maze’s glare with a flash of red in his eyes.

Everyone held their breath.

Charlie yanked at Linda’s blouse, demanding attention then pointed and asked, “Unca Luci, Mama?”

Lucifer’s gaze jerked to the toddler, eyes wide with shock.

Linda smiled and nodded, “Right, Angel, that’s your Uncle Lucifer.” She met Lucifer’s eyes and, clearly projecting her intent to hug him, took a step forward.

“You- you told him who I am?” Lucifer asked, shades of awe and disbelief filling his voice.

Linda carefully wrapped an arm around his waist and leaned into him. “Of course we did,” she said. “You’re a part of this family.”

Charlie added his own greeting, lunging past his mother to wrap both arms around Lucifer’s neck. “Charlie, no!” Linda exclaimed as his leap over-balanced her. Reflexively Lucifer steadied Linda and Amenadiel jumped to put a supporting hand under Charlie.

For the first time all day Lucifer didn’t jerk away from Amenadiel. “Brother, you didn’t- You told him good things about me? I thought-”

Amenadiel looked regretful and Chloe remembered that Lucifer made a clear mental distinction between being a good person and caring about him: Backing out of Kinley’s plan had proved to Lucifer that she wouldn’t take an active role in sending him back to Hell but to Lucifer it hadn’t been proof that she didn’t want him there.

“Of course we told him who his godfather is,” Amenadiel said. “I know the title bothers you but I wouldn’t have anyone else.”

Seeing Lucifer squirming, pleased but clearly uncomfortable, Maze relaxed. She gestured to his missing arm, “This is what happens when I’m not around to watch your back.”

“You had better things to do,” Lucifer replied with a glance at Charlie, Linda and Chloe.

“What happened anyway?” Maze demanded.

“I’d like to hear as well, Brother,” Amenadiel said. “You fled Rafael’s care the moment you regained consciousness.”

“The rest of you might have taken leave of your senses forgotten that Father kicked me out but I haven’t,” Lucifer said and Amenadiel flinched. “After spending Dad knows how long as a wall-ornament I wasn’t in the mood to risk His wrath.”

“Me, I’d puke, being surrounded by all those self-righteous hypocrites you call family,” Maze announced. “But seriously, how’d you _lose_? You’ve handled thousands of coup attempts,” She glanced at Chloe. “That’s not an exaggeration. And Lucifer, no crap about being careless, you’re careless because no one in the Infernal Realm stands a chance against you when you get serious. You subdued the Primordial Darkness and you command all who were born of your conquest.”

Lucifer glanced away. “There was a lot of unrest while we were gone,” he said. “Dromos and his followers were all that was left of the Lilim.”

Maze sucked air in between her teeth. “There’s a whole new generation?”

“I was gone too long,” Lucifer admitted.

“What does that mean?” Chloe demanded.

“Demons are condensed Darkness,” Maze said. “And we’re soulless. The Darkness is indestructible but that which makes me individual dies with me.”

“Many, many demons were killed while I was gone,” Lucifer took over. “I believe their released Darkness condensed into something new, something big… Something that doesn’t answer to me. And I was distracted.” He turned to Linda. “Delilah is in Hell. You have to explain her guilt to me. I’ve been through her loop dozens of times and I don’t understand why she is there, I can’t release her.”

Linda handed Charlie off to Amenadiel. “Normally I’d say something about Doctor-Patient Confidentiality but… Delilah is in Hell?!?”

“I thought it might be because of me,” Lucifer confided. “Either because she didn’t understand what it meant to make a deal with me or because she was unable to repay my favor before she was murdered.”

“Yeah, one of your favorite humans ended up in Hell, you’re all focused on that,” Maze interrupted. “But back to the important stuff: The Lilim are dead? Something new in Hell, powerful enough to unseat you?”

Lucifer looked mutinous and Linda was clearly lost in thought about her former patient but Amenadiel nodded along with Maze. “Luci, if there’s something in Hell that can actually challenge you, Michael might not be able to contain it either.”

“This only occurred to you now?” Lucifer snapped. “Not when I was being hauled out of Hell like a sack of meal?”

“I thought- When Rae-Rae called for backup, I remembered what happened,” Amenadiel glanced warily at Chloe, “When you returned to Hell the mortal way. I thought you might have become trapped again.”

“No, Doctor Linda is quite exceptional. My door remains but after our conversations on the subject I have been able to resist the urge to pass through it.” Lucifer turned to Linda. “Which is why I need you to teach me how to fix Deliliah and those like her. You know how to make guilt manageable.”

“Lucifer, you need to tell us everything. We need to have a plan,” Amenadiel ordered.

“I have a plan,” Lucifer replied. “Be home, get better. Get pointers from Dr. Linda on how to deal with the innocents being tortured in my domain. I conquered Hell before, half-dead from Dad kicking me out-” Amenadiel winced. Lucifer continued, “-I won’t lose the next time I face that thing.”

“Luci, that’s not a plan!” Amenadiel protested. More quietly he added, “You don’t have to be what you were back then. You have us, your family. We’ll help you.”

“You’ll help me?” Lucifer sneered. “You’ve never helped me except to further you own ends.”

“Lucifer,” Chloe broke in, pressing her hand to his chest. “Do you trust me to help you?”

“Of course, Detective.” The tension drained out of Lucifer’s frame as he stared into her eyes.

“Then let your siblings help,” Chloe said. “I’ve thought and thought but the only ways I could come up with needed the help of other Celestials. So I don’t care if their motives are selfish or whatever. If it gives us options for keeping you out of Hell or making it safer, more tolerable, we’ll take it.”

“When you put it that way,” Lucifer said. “I can hardly argue.”


	5. Plans and Distractions

“Luci,” Amenadiel began when the arrival of take-out gave him a modicum of privacy with his brother, “You’re not- No one would have sent you away- Not when you were hurt like that.”

Lucifer stared at him like he was speaking in tongues. “Of course you would. You have. Or did you think I walked away from my Fall unharmed?”

“They were going to unmake you,” Amenadiel exclaimed.

Lucifer flinched, “I suppose Azrael’s blade does put a new slant on things.” Then he smiled, wide and insincere. “I’d expect there would be some who would say I deserve no less but, as I said, it would be a problem for the rest of you were I not around.”

“It’s not like that,” Amenadiel’s voice broke.

Lucifer’s gaze softened. “Alright, not you. Contact with humanity has made you positively sentimental, Brother. Still, I simply can’t understand why _Michael and Remiel_ would bother rescuing me when slicing my throat would have resolved the matter more efficiently.”

“Lucifer stop! None of want to see you dead,” Amenadiel protested.

“A simple Celestial or Infernal blade, it’s not as if death would stick,” Lucifer rolled his eyes. “I’d just pop up somewhere else in Hell, find a convenient hole and wait to heal, it’s not as if I haven’t done it before.”

Amenadiel looked sick. “I thought-”

“This may be the first time I’ve encountered a demon who could equal me,” Lucifer said. “But Hell is full of demons, Brother and you, of all people, know how long I’ve been there. They’re not known for_ talking_ out differences. A coup attempt at least once a decade. Two or three malcontents a year who make it far enough for an assassination attempt. I may be stronger and Maze is certainly more vicious than any other demon but every now and then someone is bound to get a lucky hit, it’s simple odds.”

A look of illumination crossed Lucifer’s face, “Oh! You all thought I’d just lay there after dying in Hell as Cain did upon dying while his soul was bound to the Earthly plane?” He grinned bitterly. “Like it or not, I’m still of Heaven, Brother. When I die in Hell or on Earth I’m recalled to Heaven, only I bounce. A little reminder of my banishment. Don’t tell Dad but it actually comes in quite handy. Or did you think it was for my benefit that my little mutineers didn’t allow me to bleed out? I’m actually quite surprised you managed to drag me back up at all, perhaps the rules are different if I have an escort. I wouldn’t know, it’s not like any of you ever tried to bring me back before.”

“I should have,” Amenadiel said, his voice thick with regret. “Luci, please believe me, no one knew you’d burn when you Fell. We didn’t know, I swear. I went after you, when I saw but I thought-”

“You came after me?” Lucifer asked in shock.

“I was too late,” Amenadiel said. “What had been minutes in the Celestial Plane became centuries in the Infernal. You were alive but- An eighth of Hell had been annihilated. I’d fought demons, I knew their strength but you- The air was so thick with Darkness, it burned my lungs and- And I was afraid. I fled. I’m sorry Luci, I should have-”

“I thought no one came,” Lucifer said quietly. “I remember, you all just stood and watched while Father cast me out but you came after me. You, Father’s obedient soldier, I certainly didn’t expect that!” He shrugged, “And- Well, I’ve heard from Maze and Lilith what I was when I first arrived in Hell. I doubt you could have brought me back had you tried.”

Amenadiel smiled weakly and patted Lucifer on the shoulder, he looked more troubled than relieved at being forgiven.

* * *

“Chloe, are you alright?” Linda asked.

Chloe glanced through the open doorway towards Lucifer’s bar and saw Amenadiel speaking intently to his brother. Maze had been tasked with getting Charlie into a bib before dinner and from the giggles as the demon hunted the little boy around the penthouse, it was obviously a well-established game between the pair. Chloe wondered if Linda and Amenadiel had conspired to separate her and Lucifer for private conversations.

“I’m fine,” she said.

Linda didn’t look impressed. “These last two years have been hard on you. Then all of this? He’s back but only until he heals. -_I’m_ still trying to wrap my head around their expectation that Lucifer _will_ regrow his arm, somehow it was easier when it was wings popping out.- It wouldn’t be unusual for you to have some conflicted feelings.”

“Nope,” Chloe replied. “You know what the last two years taught me, Linda? That, with one big exception, my regrets are about things I _didn’t_ do. All the time I spent dithering about whether Lucifer and I was right or would it last.” She shook her head. “I’m not doing that again. I want Lucifer to stay. We all know walking away from Hell isn’t as simple as Lucifer saying he’s retired now and there’s not a whole lot _I_ can do to help him, at least not directly. But, this time, I’m not going to overthink it: I’m in love with Lucifer, he loves me. I want to be with him. I want to be sure he doesn’t give up without a fight because the alternative is asking his family for help.”

“Lucifer might not have a choice about going back,” Linda said. “I’ve met his mother, a few of Charlie’s aunts and uncles… The only one who really cares about humans is so overburdened with her own tasks that she can’t help.”

“Is this about Delilah?” Chloe asked.

“Yes,” Linda admitted readily. “She doesn’t deserve Hell and Lucifer might be the only one who can, who would even try to help her.”

“I’m more worried about Lucifer,” Chloe said. “_He_ doesn’t deserve to be trapped in Hell either. Once you get past the whole angels, demons, devil thing they’re people too.”

“I have had the epiphany,” Linda said dryly.

“But have you ever really listened to Amenadiel talk about angels and their purposes?” Chloe asked. “Because even with his ideas about angelic self-actualization I’m still not sure that he got the memo that they’re not cogs in some sort of Divine Plan… A plan that they don’t understand anymore than us humans do.”

“Which is progress,” Linda muttered to herself. “Big progress. Nothing good comes from them thinking they know what The Plan is. If it’s not Lucifer doing utterly stupid things to go against it, it’s Amenadiel doing even more stupid things to forward it. Whatever they might think ‘IT’ is on any given day.”

Chloe snorted at that, having had more than her share of dealing with Lucifer jumping to conclusions. “I know you’re worried about Delilah but I’m worried that Lucifer’s right, that his siblings will be all too ready to decide that he’s the one designated to rule over Hell and it’s his problem alone if things are messed up there. It’s what they’ve always done isn’t it?”

* * *

“Rae-Rae?” Ella asked the self-declared ghost as she prepared dinner for herself. “What do you know about Lucifer’s hell?”

“Er,” Azrael fidgeted with her hands. “Ashy, lots of doors, a bunch of demons playing King of the Hill for reals until Lu knocks ‘em back in line just ‘cause they’ve got nothing better to do- You know, it’s not like I’m against Lu having friends, taking breaks and stuff. When I heard he was hanging around with a police detective and then you were thinking about taking a transfer to the same precinct I was totes stoked for you guys to meet! I mean I couldn’t be your cool big sib anymore ‘cause...” Azrael gestured to her teenage-self.

She hesitated for a moment then added, “Even though I look like this I really am older than you still. You know that right?”

“You were totally born before me,” Ella agreed without quite agreeing.

“But it’s a little weird, I realize,” Azrael said. “It doesn’t feel like it did when you were a little itty-bitty thing. And I wasn’t being much of a little sister to Lu anymore, so…. I _knew_ you two would hit it off. Lu was always my best big brother, the one I could be me around.”

“Oh that’s so sweet,” Ella said. “But...”

“But?” Azrael asked with a grimace.

“You don’t want Lucifer to be miserable, you care about him. But your lead up?” Ella grimaced. “You’re not against Lucifer having friends... But, the way you say it? I’m guessing that’s not exactly a popular opinion with your family. This ‘Hell’ place sounds awful and I know Lucifer gets hurt being there… But you think he should go back.”

“Dad wouldn’t have given Lu the job if he couldn’t handle it, if he wasn’t designed to be the best person to do it,” Azrael said. “Lu makes_ himself_ miserable fighting against what he’s supposed to be instead of figuring out how to work with it. I mean my job sucks too but I wouldn’t have met you if I didn’t have it and I love hanging out with you. I can handle a few hours less sleep and still get the job done easy, no matter what Mike says.”

“Okay, kinda creeped out right now,” Ella replied. “‘Cause Lucifer’s _not_ a method actor and both of you talk about your dad like he’s _actually_ the Big Guy. And also, you had to skimp on _sleeping_ to spend time with me? What is with your family, Rae-Rae? I used to think me being your only friend made sense, ‘cause of you being a ghost and all. You know, because most people can’t even see you. But you don’t have _TIME_ to have friends and _sleep_ too? That is not okay, Rae-Rae! Wait! Ghosts have to sleep? And what sort of _job_ can a ghost have?!?”

Azrael squirmed, _‘Getting why Lu omits instead of lying.’_

“And your family kicking Lucifer out? Just for the record: Not okay!” Suddenly the blood drained from Ella’s face. “Oh God! Can people in your family see ghosts too? Rae-Rae, did your _dad_ kill you?!? So you could do- whatever?”

“No!” Azrael squawked. “No! No! No! Nobody killed me, Ella, I swear. Especially not Dad. Honestly! I just- After Lu got kicked out, I was going to visit, I swear I was. But-”

“But you died,” Ella said sympathetically.

“Something like that,” Azrael replied. “I would have, but- I didn’t know he was thinking all those awful things about us hating him. I always thought- Lu and Mom were gone but they weren’t gone-gone. I always thought Dad would- Would fix it, ya know, someday. That Lucifer just had to come home and _ask_ Dad to help him straighten things out. I didn’t know that Lu thinks he’s forbidden to come home. He thinks _Dad_ kicked him out! He wouldn’t say it if he didn’t believe it but, Ella, that’s not what happened! How can Lucifer remember it wrong?”

“Rae-Rae, what happened to Lucifer?” Ella asked seriously.

“It wasn’t Dad but he didn’t stop it either,” Azrael said. She swallowed, “That’s as good as having His approval in a lot of my family’s eyes. I mean what else can we do? Dad stopped _telling_ us what he wanted, all we can do is guess! And Uri could see what was going to happen: If Lu kept on like he was it was going to be really bad. But no one meant for him to get hurt like that.”

“So your siblings decided Lucifer was going to do-”

“Cause,” Azrael corrected. “And Uri- You’ve seen Lu do his desire thing, I know you have. -Seeing patterns was the same for Uriel. If he said it was going to happen, it was as good as done: We were all going to end up fighting and hurting each other if Lu wasn’t stopped.”

Ella nodded, “-Lucifer was going to cause something bad to happen. So some of your brothers and sisters threw him out and he got hurt in the process. Your parents and the rest of you didn’t do anything to stop it or to help him after he got hurt, you all just left him.”

Azrael hunched her shoulders in making herself small and nodded.

“I don’t want to be mean, but come on,” Ella said. “After that you’re _surprised_ Lucifer doesn’t think you care about him?”

“He was wrong-”

“You’re telling me Lucifer got hurt bad enough that it scrambled his brains? I don’t think he was the only one who was in the wrong,” Ella said flatly.

“What am I supposed to do?” Azrael asked.

“Make the first move!” Ella exclaimed then her expression fell, “Except, you’d have to explain about being dead. Man that is going to be one weird conversation… Why didn’t Amenadiel ever tell him? He’s not estranged, right? So he knows.”

Azrael gave Ella a sickly smile. “Amenadiel doesn’t know I’m a ghost,” she said. “But, hypothetically, if I weren’t a ghost, you really think I should talk to Lu? Even though he’s really bitter right now and he did- Well he was going to get everyone hurt?”

“If you want to ever talk to him again? Hell yeah!” Ella said. “Whatever he did, or whatever ‘Minority Report’ bullshit was going on, at the end of the day you guys threw him out, left him alone and hurting. He might change because of that and maybe it’s even in the way you guys wanted. But he’s never going to reach out to any of you, not if he’s got any sense of self-preservation.”

“So I’ve still got hope then?” Azrael asked with a small grin.

“I thought you didn’t want him to know you were dead?” Ella asked, confused.

“Yeah, that,” Azrael groaned.

* * *

“Lucifer, were you actually trying to kill this-this archdemon or were you doing your normal thing and trying to get it to submit?” Maze demanded.

“Are you sure it’s something new, Brother?” Amenadiel asked over her. “Could one of the Old Ones have survived when you subdued Hell?”

After a moment of awkward silence Linda announced, “And we lost them. Again.”

While they’d been strategizing, Chloe had curled up against Lucifer’s side, her head resting against his chest. Lucifer rubbed his cheek against her hair smiling softly as Chloe had begun playing idly with the top button of his shirt.

Maze groaned. She grabbed an orange out of the fruit bowl and beaned Lucifer with it. “Would you two just fuck already? Get it out of your system so we can focus on Lucifer getting overthrown as the King of Hell.”

“Mmm, an excellent suggestion,” Lucifer replied distractedly. “Why don’t you all run along now.”

“We’re all too tired to think straight anyway,” Chloe added. “Amenadiel, you can join us at the station tomorrow if your still planning on tagging along on our case. But you saw today, police work isn’t all shootouts and car chases. You don’t have to come.”

“That’s it? You’re just going to go on with your stupid dead humans when Hell’s under the control of some complete unknown?” Maze demanded angrily.

“There is some logic to Luci returning to his old routine, the frame of mind he had in L.A., to restore his arm,” Amenadiel offered. “That’s what I’ve been telling Raffie to keep her from dragging him back to the Silver City.”

Never looking away from Chloe, Lucifer purred, “Perhaps it’s just what I need to kick-start angelic regenerative powers… Choosing where I want to touch first would be a challenge even with both hands.”

“Like I buy that,” Maze snorted. “You haven’t even looked at your piano all night. If you thought wanting two hands was enough to heal you, that’s the first place you’d go.”

“Maze!” Amenadiel and Chloe exclaimed when Lucifer flinched making it obvious that Maze had been right about him avoiding his piano.

The demon ignored them. “Unless you don’t_ want_ to heal,” she challenged Lucifer.

“So Linda,” Maze continued remorselessly. “If feathery wings symbolize feeling ‘worthy’, the Devil face and bat-wings were self-hate and Amenadiel’s continued inability to stop time is about not wanting separation from humans, then what’s a missing arm mean? And how do we fix him.”

“Maze! That is enough!” Linda said sternly. “Why don’t you go collect Charlie.”

“Whatever,” Maze said. She headed towards the guest room where the toddler had been put to bed.

“I should book an appointment,” Lucifer said to Linda.

Linda nodded, “Tomorrow?” She gave Amenadiel and the returning Maze a warning look. “Without a peanut gallery, is that understood?”

“I need to stay close,” Amenadiel protested looking both uncomfortable and shifty. “Both tonight and tomorrow.”

“No,” Lucifer stated.

Maze rolled her eyes. She passed the drowsy toddler over to Linda then herded Amenadiel into the elevator. “I have rooms one level down,” she pointed out. “Decker’s not into being watched.”

When the elevator doors slid shut she added, “What aren’t you telling us, Feather-Brain?”

Amenadiel took a deep breath as the elevator sank, “It was surreal, bringing Lucifer home like that.”

“Like what?” Maze growled.

“Bleeding, unconscious,” Amenadiel said. “Everyone was watching. I heard some talk… About Uriel.”

Maze bared her teeth. “You think your siblings want revenge?”

Amenadiel shook his head. “No. Maybe? It- Remi and Mike, of all angels, they were truly disturbed at the thought of Luci being gone and, I think, more than a few of the others are as well. But- But it was like seeing Luci like that also made it _real_ that Uriel’s gone. And I don’t know what will happen now. Uriel, our brother, is gone! Some will undoubtedly blame Lucifer. I don’t know what they will do. If Lucifer’s killed he’ll return to Hell. He’ll be captured again then the rebelling demons will have what they need to summon Azrael’s blade. With the blade, they can unmake Lucifer. I'm sure my siblings don’t want _that_\- But Uriel. Nothing like Uriel ever happened before. No one knows how to feel.”

Linda nodded to herself. “No one died in Lucifer’s rebellion,” she said. “Not permanently anyway. Death, as a concept doesn’t, didn’t exist for you before Uriel… Unless you were hanging around with humans, I suppose?”

“No,” Amenadiel said. “Uriel is _gone_. Heaven is full of the souls of the dead, humans who die are the opposite of gone from an angel’s perspective... You do know I’m planning on introducing Charlie to his namesake as well as my brothers and sisters when we’re comfortable with him making the trip up?”

Linda looked startled, “You can do that? Visit souls in Heaven?”

“Of course,” Amenadiel said. Then he shrugged, “Not many angels want to but you can.”

“Right, of course,” Linda repeated dryly. “But Lucifer…” she trailed off upon realizing why Lucifer feared permanent separation. “Would it be different if someone you cared for was headed to Hell?”

Amenadiel looked away. “I haven’t been able to bring myself to look for Caleb. I know he felt guilty about the drugs he’d sold, even if he covered it with anger about the unfairness of the world,” he said. “But even so, I know he is not _gone_. Linda, I never believed that Father intended for Lucifer and Mother to be separated from us forever. And, as Charlotte proved, redemption is not out of reach, even for the souls dwelling in Hell.”

“You do realize that Charlotte was a massively unusual situation,” Linda said. “Has anyone _else_ condemned to Hell ever gotten out?”

“Excluding Lucifer and Mother?” Amenadiel asked. “No. And while Mother most certainly escaped-” the First Born Angel stopped, an expression of guilt crossed his face, “I no longer believe that Father intended for Lucifer to be contained in Hell. Not after everything that has happened since we came to L.A. I lost my wings because the lengths I went to were so grotesque I could not deny my sins. But, more and more I find myself considering the possibility that I went wrong long, long before Malcolm.”

“I can’t disagree,” Linda said. “All that time you were focused on returning Lucifer to Hell you never considered that the system was broken? Cain almost escaped Hell despite all the evil he visited on the world by virtue of convincing himself that God _meant_ for him to become an immortal criminal mastermind. Delilah ends up trapped in Hell for no good reason-”

“Linda, you can’t know that,” Amenadiel argued.

“Can’t I?” Linda demanded. “Delilah was my patient. One of my areas of specialization is guilt counseling, I literally have a degree in misplaced or excessive guilt. I am eminently qualified to tell you that a system based on self-assigned guilt is inherently broken.”

“We know!” Amenadiel replied angrily. “Father knew! There are back-ups in place Linda. Without Lucifer’s intervention, Cain would have been in for a rude awakening if he truly believed that he, of all souls- That humanity’s infamous first murderer, could simply walk into the Silver City by the expedient of dying without remorse for his crimes. If he were actually incapable of guilt, after all that he’d done… Well, Father had a plan for that too. Although what we’ll do without Azrael’s sword...”

“And Delilah?” Linda asked. “You have a plan to deal with the ones who wrongly make it to Heaven but what about the ones wrongly condemned to Hell? What are you doing about that? Or is it simply a case of out of sight, out of mind?”

“How can you be so sure?” Amenadiel asked. “If she believes that she deserves her fate then perhaps-”

“Because I KNOW guilt can be irrational. Delilah’s guilt came less from what she’d done than from how she was treated. _‘There must be something wrong with me that makes them treat me like this.’_ She just couldn’t escape that sort of thinking. Or the habit of being drawn to the familiarity of toxic relationships.” Linda sighed, “She was taking my advice the night she was murdered. I was the one to suggest she should reconnect with Lucifer.”

“Is that why you thought you’d go to Hell?” Maze demanded. “Don’t be a dumbass Linda! It wasn’t your fault she got shot.”

“I know,” Linda said. “That’s… Not why. I know I didn’t pull the trigger. I didn’t know where she was going or when. Delilah never even told me her benefactor’s name and I certainly didn’t have the slightest clue, back then, why she’d think that her success came from making a deal with the Devil.

“Delilah was waiting for the other shoe to drop, with her history it was almost inevitable. Lucifer was apparently one of the only people in her life who wasn’t taking advantage of her, so she assumed it was only a matter of time until he did. I thought if she talked to him- Well at least she would get this business about selling her soul off her mind, because that was clearly ridiculous,” Linda shook her head at her past ignorance. “And maybe she’d have reconnected with a friend who’d been supportive in the past. I don’t blame myself for Delilah’s death but, Amenadiel, I _know_ her. I was her therapist. She doesn’t deserve Hell.”

“It can’t be like that,” Amenadiel argued. “Father wouldn’t allow it. Maze, tell her Lucifer’s wrong. The souls in Hell deserve to be there.”

Maze shrugged. “How would I know? Some of the people I tortured in Hell felt guilty about weird shit. Some of it, weird doesn’t matter. I mean there’s your, what ya call it? Golden Rule. The inverse is a classic in Hell: The shit you feel bad about doing? Now someone’s doing it to you and weird or not odds are you deserve it ‘cause it’s what _you did_. Your Hell’s what you make it.

“Then you get the sulfur and brimstone crowd. Fuck knows what they did but they know what they’ve got coming: All that medieval shit, thumbscrews, the rack, the pear. They’re special ‘cause they know they’re dead, most don’t. They get what they _think_ they deserve and it’s more work than it’s worth to dig up why, plus Lucifer’s the only one who can draw out desires and back when I was in Hell he didn't waste time with Loops that weren’t broken.

“There are a lot of Loops where they keep doing whatever it is that sent them to Hell, ‘cause the point is everyone finding out and giving ‘em what they deserve or what they think they deserve. Some it’s all ‘Tell-Tale Heart’: They do the crime, they scurry around trying to hide it but it just won’t stay hidden and eventually it all falls down. Others? You go, you watch the whole Loop and it’s generating Darkness like a champ but-” Maze shrugged. “But Hell if I can’t figure out what they’re being punished for or what the punishment is or maybe both.

“Humans are bizarre but they make Darkness, which means less cannibalism among demons. So we fix the Loops that don’t produce. And messing with dead humans or watching ‘em torture themselves,” Maze shrugged, “It’s something for the Lilim to do besides fighting with each other.” A distant expression crossed her face. “Wonder what it’s like with no Lilim down there,” she muttered.

Linda gasped softly. She handed Charlie off to Amenadiel, “Could you put him to bed?” she asked with a significant look in Maze’s direction. Amenadiel returned it with a baffled one but took the suggestion.

“That room should be good,” Maze said, pointing to a door. “It’s my sleeping room, not my sex room.” Then she wandered off in the other direction.

Linda made a shooing gesture at Amenadiel then followed Maze, “Are you alright?” she asked.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Maze asked.

“About the Lilim. Is there anything I can do to help?” Linda

“You mean about them being dead?” Maze asked. She shrugged, “Not much of anything anyone can do about that.”

“I’m sorry,” Linda said.

“I almost feel sorry for any soul that gets visited by some of the other sorts in Hell, humans aren’t exactly wrong about the effect of seeing an Eldritch Abomination,” Maze continued then broke off. “Oh. You’re worried about my feelings? Don’t be. The Lilim are less family, more Nation. Besides, I’m sure Lilith isn’t dead. Crafty bitch is probably holed up somewhere hoarding Primordial Darkness and getting ready to pop out another army. She’s too smart not to turn up when Lucifer makes his comeback.”

“And what if she doesn’t?” Linda asked gently.

Maze shrugged, “It’s not like Lucifer ever really needed an army.”

Linda stared, “Maze, she’s your mother. Even if your relationship was… Strained, it’s okay to be worried about her.”

Maze took out her karambit knives and spun them round in her hands. “Lilith gave me these before she kicked me out. She gave me a few pointers about where to stick ‘em then said she’d let me parasite off her long enough so I needed to go. I was about the same size as Trix was that first time she walked into Lux. So that’s Lilith’s motherly instincts for you. If she’s alive, she’ll side with Lucifer against pretty much anything. If she’s dead, she’s dead.”

“She abandoned you in HELL?” Linda exclaimed, horrified. “How did you even survive?”

“Demon,” Maze explained pointing to herself. “And it wasn’t long before I fell in with Lucifer.” She smiled widely, “You’re all used to the pathetic, human-influenced version but back then? He was this big, scary thing that didn’t kill me, so I followed him around. I mentioned Eldritch Abominations? They were Hell’s ruling class back then and they looked at the Lilim as candy.” Maze grinned viciously. “But something about ‘em rubbed Lucifer the wrong way and instead of getting eaten, I ate real good on what he left of them. Eventually Lilith noticed what a good thing I had going. So she swore herself and all her surviving spawn to Lucifer’s cause.”

“Which was?” Linda asked.

Maze laughed, “Back then Lucifer was still so fucked up from the Fall and burning he probably didn’t know his own name. Any of your human stories that start off with how the Devil hates humanity? I call bullshit. Best I could figure, Lilith was human once and all of us who came from her have something of her corrupted humanity in us. He liked us where he killed almost everything else that existed in Hell on pure reflex. Lilith’s oath took root good and hard, Lucifer can command us, but since he didn’t have anything in mind _Lilith_ arranged Hell’s structure to suit herself. She’s a shitty mom but a decent War Lord. With Lucifer’s raw power to back her up the Lilim carved out a sizable kingdom.

As Lucifer healed up and got more sane he started wanting to talk with the other shit living in Hell instead of just ripping them to shreds. Lilith got ahead of him and negotiated surrenders for everything that wasn’t Lilim making Lucifer King of Hell before they caught wind that he was going soft. Then Able showed up and we figured out what our role in God’s Plan was.”

“Wait, Able’s in Hell? Cain and Able, Able?” Linda asked.

“Oh yeah, all sorts of guilt that one: _‘What’d I ever do to deserve being the favorite? Mom liked me better, something about reminding her of that one guy who wasn’t Dad. Heck, Dad liked me better… I’m pretty sure he got it on with that guy too, now that I think about. Even God liked me better. Why were my sheep better than Cain’s crops anyway? Ohh, I should have said something but what if they realized I was right, that I didn’t deserve to be the favorite and stopped liking me? No wonder my brother wanted to kill me. Boo-Hoo.’_ Also he’s a complete and total asshole but the guilt that sent him to Hell’s all about being the favorite.”

“Is there anyone actually in Heaven?” Linda demanded.

“Amenadiel might be able to guess how many go each way, or Azrael could tell you,” Maze said. “I haven’t got a clue. Never been anywhere near Heaven, obviously.”

Linda’s mouth thinned. “Because your a demon and damned from birth.”

Maze smiled toothily. “Not like I mind. Home sweet Hell you know. As long as Lucifer’s King anyway. Problem is… He wasn’t Lucifer when he was subduing Hell. He wasn’t anyone. If Amenadiel’s right and it’s an Old One we’re going to need a damn good plan to pull this off without getting him to revert to that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About how busy Azrael is. A quick web search says the rate of death in the world is over 6000 people an hour. If Azrael has to escort each and everyone up or down... She is insanely overworked. And with a birth rate of 15,000 an hour it's only getting worse, of course.


	6. Through the Night

Remiel appeared outside the gates of Hell, her wings stirring up a flurry of ash. “Did Amenadiel tell you?” she asked Michael. “There’s apparently some sort of archdemon in Hell, that’s what defeated Lucifer.”

“Defeated Luci did it?” Michael asked with a smirk. “But what does that really say?”

Remiel nodded seriously, “He was never a warrior. I don’t know why Father gave him charge of Hell in the first place. If you or I had been given the job the demons would have been exterminated eons ago.”

“Remi, you know that’s not an option” Michael corrected grudgingly. “No matter how many demons you kill there will always be more. The Darkness will always return in some new form.”

“I suppose,” Remiel allowed with poor grace. “There must be a better solution.”

“Yeah, must be something,” Michael agreed.

The two of them lapsed into silence for several minutes.

Then Michael grinned broadly. “You know what would be fun?”

Remiel glanced at him questioningly.

“So there’s this big bad demon that the Devil couldn’t handle. Well, what if when Luci gets his healing sorted out and he comes back- What if we’ve already dealt with it? We can give him a hard time about being such a wimp.”

Remiel considered. “Hunting demons is less boring than maintaining the Walls,” she decided. “Let’s go kill it. Since nothing like this has ever happened before, it seems fairly safe to say it will likely come back as something Lucifer can manage.”

* * *

It was a devilish grin and practiced fingers making her scream. It was unexpected pauses and finding him staring at her, awed because she was with him. It was her mouth hungry against his after all fantasies she’d tried to deny having even to herself. It was holding him tight, like she was never going to let him go. It was the desire for forever and the fear that they would never get more than just this moment.

Lucifer woke up alone. For a moment he felt as if his heart had stopped. Then he noticed the glow of a computer screen and found Chloe sitting cross-legged at the foot of the bed with a laptop balanced on her knee. Lucifer rolled over onto his stomach to pout at her.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Chloe said. “I couldn’t stop thinking about what Maze said.”

“That is completely unacceptable,” Lucifer replied reaching for her with clear, lavious intent.

“Right, I only passed out for a couple hours,” she snorted. “Just because, for once, you apparently needed some serious sleep… Oh just come here and look.” She turned the computer screen toward him, it showed sheet music. “I- well, there was this old show I used to watch with my Dad and one episode- I wasn’t sure if it was really a thing but-”

“It’s for the piano, composed to be played single-handedly,” Lucifer whispered. Absently he pulled on a robe then picked up the laptop and carried it over to the piano. Tentatively he played through the first composition while Chloe hovered nervously. The uncertainty in his playing vanished by the fourth piece.

Smiling to herself Chloe left him playing while she went to the kitchen to start the coffee machine and an early breakfast.

* * *

_Dan sat at his desk under the stairs, staring across the bullpen to where Chloe sat, despondent and alone._

_Peirce swaggered across the precinct to loom over Dan. “Espinoza, you’re up.” The Lieutenant smirked knowingly as he handed Dan an address, “A dirty cop like you probably doesn’t need any help but I figured I’d make this one easy for you. After all I wanted him dead too.”_

_Ella pulled Dan aside, “I know you took the gun out of evidence,” she said._

_As Dan drove to the crime scene Lucifer asked, “Tell me Daniel, why do I hate myself?” Dan wondered what the self-proclaimed Devil was doing sitting in his car._

_“You both hate this Lucifer Morningstar very much,” Boris, the human lie-detector, said knowingly from the backseat._

_Dan remembered how the heat of the sauna had made the scars on Lucifer’s back flush red like blood. “I don’t hate him,” he protested._

_Lucifer frowned, “You blame me for Mum’s death.”_

_“I don’t,” Dan insisted._

_“Liar,” Boris declared. Then looking from Dan to Lucifer his expression turned puzzled. “You slept with his mother?”_

_“Step-mother,” Dan corrected._

_“Still weird,” Boris said with a shrug._

_“Daniel, answer my question: Why do I hate myself?” Lucifer whined obnoxiously._

_Dan glanced back at Boris. “You know why,” he said. “You said it yourself: You hurt anyone who gets close to you.”_

_They pulled up at the crime scene. A team of EMT’s rolled a gurney with a body past them. “You fucked up and Joan died,” Dan snarled as he shoved Lucifer against back against the car then he turned on his heel and stalked angrily into the building._

_Lucifer trailed after Dan, his expression troubled. Boris rolled down the car window and called after them, “Go ahead and kill this Lucifer Morningstar. I’ll find you your patsy.”_

_Dan took the elevator up to the penthouse. He stepped out into a long abandoned appartment. Trixie sat at the dust covered piano. “Mommy was crying again,” she told him. “Why did Lucifer go away?”_

_“Trixie, you’re not supposed to be here! It’s not safe! Go home!” Dan exclaimed. He heard the report of a rifle from the balcony and rushed out drawing his gun._

_Malcolm turned and waved at him, the sniper rifle held casually at his side. “Hey, Danny boy, the new Lieutenant sent you? What a guy!”_

_Dan pushed past the murderous detective and peered over the side. Lucifer stood on the street below, hands on his hips as he glared up at them irritably. “Oh, come on! You can do better than that!” he challenged. “Well, go on, then! What are you waiting for? Just shoot me right now.”_

_Malcolm sighted down the barrel of the gun. “Whatever you say.”_

_Dan turned away before he pulled the trigger. Charlotte was waiting for him inside. “Daniel, where is my son?” she asked._

Dan woke up in a cold sweat, “Fuck,” he groaned. Running on habit he got up, remoted into his work computer and started searching the database for dark-haired suicides before remembering that Lucifer was back.

He wondered if he should just start scheduling regular sessions with Linda again.

* * *

After dawn had broken, Linda and Amenadiel made their way up to the penthouse from Maze’s apartment with Charlie in tow.

Building off of centuries of knowledge of the piano, Lucifer had absorbed the composers’ techniques for getting the most out of the instrument with only one hand and had moved on to improvising adaptations of popular songs. There were notable holes and a certain thinness to the music but they were steadily become less frequent and less glaring as he rapidly adapted.

Seeing Lucifer at the piano Charlie immediately squirmed out of Amenadiel’s arms. He toddled over to the piano and pulled himself up on the bench. Lucifer gave his tiny nephew a wary look. Charlie grinned up at him toothily and Lucifer scooted away until he was in danger of falling off the piano bench. For a moment Amenadiel and Linda shared an amused look as the Devil staunchly refused to retreat in the face of a two-year-old… Even though he clearly wanted to. “Well, Urchin, do you have a request?” Lucifer asked haughtily.

“He likes ‘Baby Shark’,” Amenadiel suggested with a hint of mischief in his eyes.

“Clearly your repritare requires expansion,” Lucifer informed the boy.

Charlie giggled. “Baby Shark!” he demanded.

“No,” Lucifer said.

“Baby Shark!”

“No.”

Snickering, Linda and Amenadiel settled into the couch to enjoy the show.

“Surely you must have inherited some taste… From your mother if not your father,” Lucifer huffed, tossing a glare over his shoulder at Amenadiel.

Amenadiel smoothed his expression over, refusing to clue Lucifer in that Charlie had been listening avidly to recordings of Lucifer’s playing and singing since birth.

“Baby Shark?” Charlie asked hopefully, eyes wide.

Desperately Lucifer started picking ‘The World Es Mi Familia’ from Coco, a movie Trixie had subjected him to on several separate occasions. Charlie immediately settled, watching with wide eyed amazement.

Chloe appeared with two cups of coffee, “There’s a pot in the kitchen,” she told Linda and Amenadiel as she grabbed a coaster to protect the piano.

“Linda?” Amenadiel asked as he stood. The petite blond replied with a grateful smile.

After a few more songs, Lucifer took a break from playing to top off his mug with a shot of whiskey. Chloe rolled her eyes at him and he grinned. Maze showed up with a bag of pastries and accepted another doctored cup of coffee while Linda shooed Charlie into the kitchen and away from the piano before giving him a donut and a sippy cup of milk. The rest of the adults trailed after the pair and found spots around the breakfast bar.

Linda’s phone dinged, “I’ll need to leave soon, emergency session,” she said. She glanced at Lucifer, “I’ve also got an open slot right before lunch if you want.”

Lucifer nodded. “Best not to put it off,” he agreed.

Maze looked at Amenadiel, “You’re drown-proofing the spawn this morning, right?”

“Charlie has swim class,” Amenadiel agreed.

“Oh, I miss those,” Chloe commented. “Baby swim classes are so much fun.”

Lucifer sipped his coffee and blinked at his family-filled kitchen with an air of bemusement. Something loosened in his chest as their presence washed over him and for the first time in he couldn’t remember how long he felt like he could breath.

* * *

Michael and Remiel quickly traversed Hell’s maze heading straight for the throne and surrounding plane where they’d found Lucifer before.

While barely a day had passed on Earth, it had been years beyond the walls of Hell. In the time they’d been gone the throne had eroded, the spire barely standing taller than the maze of doors. A demon with tentacles and too many eyes crouched over a crumpled body in the center of the empty plane, ripping at it with a thick, vicious beak as it gurgled and bled darkness.

“It’s bigger than any of the ones I saw last time,” Michael remarked,

Remiel grimaced in disgust. “They’re _eating_ each other.”

“I suppose that’s one way to consolidate Darknesses,” Michael said. “Come on. I want to test its strength.”

Remiel nodded. “It’s alone, or as good as.”

Michael grinned, quick and flashing. Then he spread his wings, drew his sword and pounced. With the boneless fluidity of an octopus the demon pulled its body out of the sword’s path and retaliated. It smashed a heavy, scute studded tentacle into Michael’s sword arm. Michael turned with the blow, refusing to let his sword drop. He snapped his opposite wing forward and sliced off the offending tentacle with his sharpened primaries.

“Hell won’t bow to you, Angel,” the demon snarled.

Remiel stabbed the demon in the back with her spear, pinning it to the ground, “It will if we make it,” she said coldly. She twisted her blade and jerked it to the side, killing the demon.

“Well, that wasn’t too hard,” Michael said cheerfully as he fanned his wings, encouraging the demon’s blood to evaporate off his feathers. “But I don’t think this one’s the one that defeated Lucifer.”

He and Remiel crossed the plane then back into the maze of doors as it resumed on the other side.

“Do you think there are more of the weird ones forming with Lucifer haring off to the Mortal Plane?” Remiel asked.

Michael glanced back to answer her and his eyes wided, “Remi!” he shouted as several of the doors opened and a horde of young Lilim poured out. Remiel barely had time to raise her spear before a girl who couldn’t have been more than ten threw herself on the angel’s back and slit her throat without hesitation. Michael saw blood spurting from his sister’s severed artery for a moment and then her body vanished. The little Lilim landed smoothly in a crouch as Remiel disappeared from beneath her.

Then the swarm descended on Michael with a blood-thirsty roar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The old show Chloe mentions is "M*A*S*H", episode "Morale Victory"


	7. Depends on Perspective

Someone was plinking inexpertly on a piano, the irregular notes played a painful counterpoint to the pounding in Michael’s head. With a small groan forced the angel himself to open his eyes. The room was illuminated by the reddish orange glow of a fire. He recognized bits and pieces of the room from his mother’s old rooms in the Silver City: The view just visible through the balcony doors. The glowing tapestry hung on the wall. The low, bowl shaped couch perfect for wings. Other things Michael didn’t recognize at all: An odd chandelier like a tangle of light strung roots. An Assyrian wall… And a polished black piano where Uriel sat idly pressing keys. “Finally awake?” he asked. “They must have hit you pretty hard.”

“Uriel!” Michael exclaimed. “You’re not dead! Did Lucifer lock you up here?”

“You never were the sharpest crayon in the box, were you Mike?” Uriel said. “This is Lucifer’s cell in Hell, I’m nothing more than a manifestation of his guilt. Well,” he gestured towards the glowing tapestry, “Mother’s too, since she came in here as well.”

“What am I doing here?” Michael asked.

Uriel shrugged. “Lilith and a bunch of her new brood stowed you here. I suppose they mistook you for Lucifer.” He smiled sharply. “This isn’t your cell, you could always leave.”

Michael nodded and started towards the balcony.

“Unless…” Uriel began. “Do you remember?”

Michael stopped. Through the glass of the balcony doors he saw a ball of flames shoot past, he knew it wasn’t a falling star. The odor of burning meat filled the room. Just an inch short of the doorknob, Michael’s hand pulled back cover his mouth and nose.

“After? I wanted to ask Father why my powers failed, why the pattern didn’t show me that Lucifer would burn. You talked me out of it. So I asked Mother instead. Do you remember? She was so angry,” Uriel smiled and spread his hands helplessly. Bruises formed on his face, his left eye socket shattered and the skin over his cheek bone split like an overripe peach. “You know, She _wanted_ Lucifer to inspire a rebellion against Father. She was so very angry that we… That I got in Her way. And I was all alone.”

Slowly, Michael turned back to face Uriel.

“Why didn’t you let me talk to Father?” Uriel asked plaintively. “Even if He meant for us to make Lucifer Fall and burn in the Falling, He wouldn’t have hit me for asking. Michael, why didn’t you go with me when I asked Mother?”

“It was all Lucifer’s fault,” Michael said weakly and Hell laughed at him.

“I used to talk to you,” Uriel continued sadly. “I couldn’t talk to Remi, she was just a kid. She trusted our judgement almost as much as Father’s, we couldn’t burden her with our doubts.”

Michael found himself nodding along.

“And Amenadiel? After he came back from Hell, he wouldn’t even hear Sam’s name. _Lucifer_ Fell, not Samael. _Lucifer_ burned, Sam didn’t even exist... according to Amenadiel. Lucifer was the source of all evil, he’d _never_ been one of us and you couldn’t tell Amenadiel otherwise. But then Lucifer started escaping to Earth. Amenadiel put himself in charge of returning him to Hell and along the way Lucifer turned into Luci. Only Amenadiel wouldn’t talk about that either.” Uriel rubbed his bruised cheek, “Lucifer was nothing more than The Adversary. Amenadiel punched me once for pointing out that nicknames meant fondness.”

“It was Father’s will and don’t any of you dare suggest the First Born felt anything but joyous about carrying out Father’s will,” Michael muttered resentfully.

Uriel reached out and caught Michael’s hands, drawing him further into the room. “You were the only one I could talk to. I even told you about the night before Lucifer Fell, didn’t I? You were the only one I ever told. But I had to know: Why did my powers fail? Why didn’t I see that we’d make Lucifer burn? You wouldn’t let me talk to Father. So I went to Mother.”

Uriel’s eye started sliding out of his ruined eye-socket and Michael scrabbled to pull a feather from his wing. “It won’t help,” Uriel said bluntly. “Even Father had to strain to erase the results of Mother’s rage. Then He sent Mother away. After that He stopped talking to anyone… And you stopped talking to me.”

The room began to shift around them. A weapon’s rack formed on the balcony with Michael’s sword and few spears. A Go board, game in progress, appeared on the coffee table.

“I didn’t have anyone I could talk to Mike. You left me all alone,” Uriel said. “Until Madness came to keep me company.”

* * *

Linda watched Dan’s knuckles turn white as he recounted his nightmares. Then she took a deep breath. “The last significant conversation between you and Lucifer before he left was a bad one, no question about that. Neither of you were in a good place and you said some things you came to regret. But you need to look at that conversation on its own merits not in conjunction with Lucifer leaving. From your perspective, he just disappeared after that conversation and that gave it added weight in your eyes. But I can say, with complete certainty, that you were NOT a factor in Lucifer’s choice to leave.”

“I know,” Dan said shortly. “Given what I do Lucifer’s sudden disappearance coupled with his history of self-destructive behavior and him going on about _hating_ himself right before he disappeared, it made sense that I was worried about suicide. Why couldn’t you or Chloe have just told me where he was, given me a number so I could call him- I just wanted to say sorry and hear that he wasn’t dead-”

“Dan, it wasn’t an option,” Linda said, shaking her head. “You know that.”

“-I get patient confidentiality and that he might not have wanted you handing out his information to _me_,” Dan continued. “But couldn’t you have passed on a message? Had _him_ call me, instead of just leaving me with all this bullshit festering in my head?”

“You did pass on a message through Amenadiel, a year ago, remember?” Linda said. “He told you Lucifer had accepted your apology.”

“Yeah and somehow it sounded exactly the same as when Amenadiel told me that Charlotte was in heaven,” Dan replied. “Why couldn’t Lucifer call me? Why do you guys keep insisting verbal messages relayed through Amenadiel were the ONLY possible contact with Lucifer. There’s more access to ground forces in an active war-zone than that!”

Linda grimaced.

“And don’t tell me he was in Hell… But it’s okay because he wasn’t dead,” Dan snapped. “Where is ‘Hell’, really.”

“Dan, I know you mean well but it’s not your business-“

“Isn’t it?” Dan asked. “Look at him! A violent crime was committed against Lucifer. There’s nothing suggesting it’s being investigated. I’m a goddamn police detective. Chloe’s so happy just to have him back, she’s not thinking past that…. Look Linda, we agreed that the best way for me to deal with my guilt would be to try to treat him right moving forward. And that’s what I’m trying to do. It’s wrong to ignore that someone mutilated him.”

Linda bit her lip. “I think you should tell Lucifer that you’re worried,” she said after a moment.

“And get: ‘I’m the Devil. I’m immortal’ for the hundredth time?” Dan asked. “His stupid metaphors don’t keep him from getting hurt.”

* * *

Ella smiled to herself as she watched Chloe and Lucifer orbit tightly around each other, _‘The way it was meant to be.’_ she thought._ ‘Chloe’s looked so lost ever since he left and it’s not even worth saying that leaving was no good for Lucifer.’_

She waved to Maze, who’d slunk in behind Chloe and Lucifer. The bounty hunter gave her what Ella had come to understand was the Maze-version of a friendly nod before putting her feet up on Dan’s desk. After a few minutes Maze pulled out a knife and occupied herself with sharpening it. Several of the police officers looked at her askance but no one had the nerve to ask her to stop.

When Dan arrived, a bit late, he calmly shoved Maze’s feet off his desk then leaned into her space to whisper intently. After a few moments Maze rolled her eyes but when Dan led the way to Ella’s lab she followed.

“What?” Maze asked as soon as the door swung shut behind her.

“I know you care about Lucifer,” Dan said. “So do we. We want to find out who hurt him and put them behind bars.”

Maze snickered.

“It’s not funny!” Ella exclaimed.

“Only because you two don’t know shit,” Maze said.

“Maze, just tell us where or what is ‘Hell’. Whatever it is, it’s clear that you, Lucifer and Amenadiel are trying to get out. We can help you, if you just let us,” Dan pled. “We know they, whoever they are, were behind Charlie’s kidnapping and that’s what pressured Lucifer into going back. I get why he left but you guys can’t handle this on your own. Look at what happened! If there’s a next time, Lucifer might not come back from it.”

“Fine,” Maze said rolling her eyes. “Listen close: Hell is Hell; residence of demons and damned souls. Lucifer is that Lucifer; condemned by God to rule over us. And Milton is an idiot; Lucifer hates ruling just as much as he hates serving. For the record, he’s a pretty crappy king to boot.” Maze shrugged, “He was screwing around getting bent out of shape about souls that didn’t belong in Hell instead of paying attention to his demons. I get wanting to hang him on the wall like a trophy. I don’t get how they managed it. He’s Lucifer, the Morning Star, Breaker of the Darkness from which demons are born.

“So it’s cute that you want to help but put a demon behind bars? This demon? We’re figuring it’s either some new Archdemon coughed up by the Primordial Darkness to take Lucifer down or an Old One that survived the purge when Lucifer Fell. Whatever it is, there’s a good chance that just looking at it would be enough to drive a human insane.

“Lucifer has to kick it’s ass. Lousy king or not, he’s the best choice. You humans want him on the throne of Hell because he’s kept demons from tormenting living humans since the end of your fourteenth century. Shitty publicity aside, he loves the mortal plane, humans. I want him on the throne because, for an angel, he’s- no other way to say it -squeamish about killing demons. We’re soulless and most of Lucifer’s siblings wouldn’t see the difference between killing a demon and snapping a sword raised against them but Lucifer? He doesn’t like breaking us. His siblings want him on the throne because they’re a bunch of assholes who want Lucifer and everything else that isn’t compliant or is ugly out of sight and out of mind.” Maze grimaced, “The only one who gets screwed over with Lucifer on the throne is Lucifer. And Decker, I guess. But you don’t believe a word I said, so… Good talk.”

“That went well,” Dan said sarcastically as he watched Maze walk off to join Lucifer and Chloe.

“I didn’t get much either,” Ella admitted. “No hits for anyone even vaguely matching Lucifer’s description being treated for a severed arm in any database I’ve got access to… And I’ve got a lot of access. Friends, favors.”

Dan raised an eyebrow at the last.

“Hey, Lucifer doesn’t have a lock on favors,” Ella protested. “But I did find out a little more about his family. He and Amenadiel have at least two more brothers: Michael and Uriel.”

“Seriously?” Dan asked.

“Not the worst,” Ella said. “Their sister was named Azrael. She’s younger than Lucifer and, um, she died. Prior to 1997. She was in her mid-teens. Careful about saying anything though, Lucifer doesn’t know about it, she died after he got kicked out… Only that’s misleading. Kicked out, in Lucifer’s case, doesn’t mean his family washed their hands of him. He was sent _somewhere_ and his family is _highly_ invested in keeping him doing whatever it is he does there.”

“His sister _died_ and Amenadiel never told him? What the fuck is wrong with that family?” Dan exclaimed. Then he looked puzzled. “And how’d you find out?”

“Rae-Rae was a friend of mine back in Detroit.” Ella said a bit weakly.

Dan stared. “Lucifer’s family is from Detroit? You _knew_ Lucifer’s family?!?”

“I know Rae-Rae,” Ella corrected. “It wasn’t a last name type thing.”

“Shit,” Dan said apologetically, “Because you would have been just a kid when she died.”

“Sort of,” Ella prevaricate. “I don’t know why she was in Detroit or if any of her family was with her but Lucifer wasn’t.”

“Okay, let’s see if we can build a timeline,” Dan said. “At least some part of Lucifer’s family was in Detroit in the late nineties… Maybe you can find what name they were using? It’s probably not real, Amenadiel’s arrest record says his name is Jacob Canaan and that only _sounds_ less fake than Lucifer Morningstar.”

Dan took a deep breath, “Also, Lucifer might not have existed on paper before 2011 but Charlotte did. Her timeline has to intersect with his somewhere. Given the age difference between them, I’m guessing he probably wasn’t more than ten, young enough that even a half decade or so would have been significant. Whatever ‘Hell’ is, Lucifer’s family is heavily involved. If we can find them, I think we have a good shot at finding the people who hurt him.”

Around midday Amenadiel arrived with Charlie and left with Lucifer. Most of the officers who observed the transfer hid their smiles and bit back any observations about trading babysitters. Before leaving with Charlie, Maze detoured back to Dan’s desk. “You want to know a secret?” she asked.

“Something that’ll help us keep Lucifer out of ‘Hell’?” Dan asked.

“Yeah,” Maze replied. “I can’t fight an angel and win. Even that little twerp Azrael would kick my ass if she ever got serious. If any of Lucifer’s siblings come after him, I can’t stop them.”

“So… It’s not Lucifer’s family that you’re trying to protect him from?” Dan asked with a puzzled frown.

Maze shook her head, “I can make them go through me… And Lucifer won’t stand by and let that happen. Just thought you should know.” She bounced Charlie on her hip. “Well, see ya around, Angelspawn’s got a playdate. The biting, screaming, stealing of toys,” she sighed happily, “It always reminds me of home.”

* * *

Following her session with Dan, Linda spent several hours working with patients who, as far as she knew, had no connection to the Celestial Sphere or the attendant complications. Then she heard Lucifer’s voice drifting in from the hall outside her office, “Shoo! Go help the Detective with paperwork or watch your spawn! I don’t require a mother hen!”

Linda sat at her desk and wondered if she was going to have to intervene in order to speak with her patient without an audience._ ‘Patient, friend, former lover, brother-in-law practically-’_ She thought. _‘Oh the Ethics Board would have a field day… Luckily, they never ask since Maze ‘explained’ the special circumstances last time.’_

“Lucifer-“

“Chloe is at work Brother, I am perfectly safe,” Lucifer exclaimed irritably.

_‘As long as none of his siblings attack him,’_ Linda thought remembering Amenadiel’s concerns.

A moment later Lucifer stalked in and threw himself down on the couch. “How do you put up with him, my dear Doctor?”

“Maze is worse,” Linda replied. “She could stalk me for hours before I realized why I was feeling nervous.”

Lucifer smiled, “And I expect at least thirty minutes before she notices that I managed to chase my first babysitter off. So, shall we take advantage of the respite?”

“Very reasonable,” Linda agreed. “Is there something specific on your mind?”

“Delilah,” Lucifer said. “I won’t have much time on this plane once my arm’s been sorted and I need your help if we’re going to get her out of Hell. We have to get her out.”

Linda nodded. “We do. She spent her whole life going from one bad situation to another. She ran away to L.A. to recreate herself but… She ended up right back where she started. That’s the cycle we have to break.”

“I should have kept her,” Lucifer said, “But I didn’t want to be selfish, I didn’t want to cage her.”

“Delilah once told me she was busking on the street and you just walked up and offered her a job,” Linda encouraged.

“She had a beautiful voice but lacked the presence to make people notice it, notice her,” Lucifer said. “I asked her what she desired. She told me she wanted to make her rent for the month without sleeping with anyone.”

“That explains why you never had sex with her. I did wonder, given how you reacted to Chloe’s resistance to your charms,” Linda said.

“A different situation Doctor. Delilah and I’s deal precluded it.” Lucifer shrugged, “Or near enough. I’d only just opened the Lux, I required staff, she needed a paycheck. Performing with her was a delight and she waitressed on nights when she didn’t have a set. Anything else between us would have violated the spirit of our deal.”

“You taught her confidence in her singing,” Linda said. “To carry herself like she belonged in the spotlight.”

“She did,” Lucifer said. “Do you believe that Delilah would have been happier had she’d stayed on at the Lux?”

“Probably,” Linda said bluntly, “And if she hadn’t been shot, she might have come back to you but you couldn’t have kept her from the start. There were things she wanted to do… Given the chance she had to at least try.”

“I know.” Lucifer smiled sadly, “Introducing her was hardly a favor worth mentioning, it was just saying goodbye on my own terms.”

“I can help you get Delilah past her guilt,” Linda said. “This isn’t cliff notes for guilt counseling, it won’t help you with anyone else but I was Delilah’s therapist for years.”

“It wasn’t unusual was it? That you realized I hated myself long before I did?” Lucifer asked.

“No, not unusual at all,” Linda said. “But me understanding isn’t what’s important, it’s helping my patients to understand for themselves.”

“If you’d told me, I wouldn’t have believed you,” Lucifer said. He stared past the floor, to a spot only he could see. “You can _only_ help me with Deliah,” he said. “Maze would be incensed if she knew but I was trying to learn how many others in my domain hadn’t earned the torture they endure. Once I thought things had settled down, I ordered the remaining Lilim to assist me in assessing the Hell-Loops. It was a disaster, they practically started a mutiny on the spot. Even after I’d reminded them who was king again it turned out that they were utterly hopeless at the task I’d set.”

“Let me guess: Maze, six years ago, had a higher than average emotional intelligence for a demon?” Linda asked.

Lucifer grimaced, “Much higher. The Lilim were quite adept at ferreting guilt out and using it as an implement of torture; it’s the only way to torture a soul in Hell after all, but they don’t understand or care about what causes the guilt. I found one Hell-Loop that was deemed to be in perfect working order. It consisted of a woman tripping over a rough patch of sidewalk and losing hold of her dog’s leash then watching it run in front of a truck to be killed over and over again.”

“That’s terrible,” Linda said.

“It is,” Lucifer said. “She loved that dog and felt crippling guilt over it death, something she had no true control over. But not a drop of guilt for the dozens of children she poisoned over the course of her life. Tainted Halloween candy, in her mind the greedy little beasts truly deserved it.”

Linda’s mouth dropped open in shock.

Lucifer smiled viciously. “I helped her appreciate the depravity of her desires. Her loop is much more fitting now.” Then his expression fell into despair. “Dr. Linda, you cannot even comprehend how many souls are in Hell. Ones like that where guilt is wrong. Ones like Delilah’s where the guilt is irrational, undeserved. There are so_ many_ of them Doctor, and I never knew. I hardly know where to _begin_ in identifying Hell’s mistakes. The demons are useless to me!” he ranted. “I don’t care who rules them so long as they leave me out of it!”

“But they didn’t leave you out of it,” Linda reminded him softly.

“No, they didn’t,” Lucifer hissed. “How can I accomplish anything while playing the part of a bloody wall ornament! I’ll never be done, I’ll never even be properly begun. They won’t LEAVE ME ALONE to even try!” Lucifer leapt to his feet then stumbled, forgetting his shifted center of gravity for a moment. “It’s all pointless!” he declared and stormed out.

Linda sighed and watched him go. She turned around to dig her cellphone out of the top drawer of her desk and when she turned around a tall woman with olive skin, dark brown hair pulled up in a messy bun and the first hint of lines around her mouth was standing in her office staring judgmentally down at her. “You’re the human Amenadiel believes will heal Samael where I failed,” she said. “I can’t say I’m impressed.”

* * *

Not long after Maze left the precinct, Amenadiel slunk back in. “Luci won’t talk to Linda with me there,” he sighed as he dropped into the guest seat at Dan’s desk. “I don’t like leaving him alone but I really think Linda’s our best hope of getting him better. Luci _has_ to get better.”

“You do know his arm’s not going to just grow back?” Dan asked tentatively.

“Of course I know that,” Amenadiel scoffed unconvincingly. “It’s just… Raffie says he’s not healing right.”

“Maybe you should try letting an actual medical doctor treat him?” Dan suggested. “Linda’s great, no question but she’s a psychiatrist, this is a little outside of her area. And, given the searches Ella’s done, this Raffie of yours isn’t a real doctor either.”

“Raffie’s our sister, she is eminently qualified,” Amenadiel assured Dan. He continued earnestly, “There is no one more expert in healing, which is why I’m certain that the problem is in Lucifer’s mind, not his body, except as his mind informs his body. Although… it might help if Luci hadn’t ran off while Raffie was in the middle of treating him.”

“Lucifer’s a difficult patient, color me shocked,” Dan said dryly. “But really, we’re talking about some serious shit. You need to get Lucifer to an actual hospital, with real doctors, medical equipment. If it’s not healing he might have an infection or something, he could die Amenadiel.”

“Difficult…” Amenadiel repeated distantly. He spent a few moments turning the word over in his mouth. “I said Lucifer was difficult to love,” he confessed. “I told him that loving him was Father’s test for me, a trial worthy of the First Born. But then- We were almost too late. Daniel, it was terrifying- If Michael and Remi had arrived even a minute later another of us would have been gone forever. And, in that moment, I realized that loving Luci isn’t difficult at all. That I had never stopped loving my little brother although, somehow, I had forgotten that I did.”

“Look, um, seeing you and Lucifer interact, I know you mean ‘brothers’ literally but-” Dan began awkwardly. “But with the money, his connections, the favors he does and, well, ‘Hell’- I gotta wonder: When you guys say ‘family’ do you mean some sort of crime family... or a cult?”

Amenadiel stared at Dan, mouth hanging open.

“And, I should have asked years ago, but Lucifer’s whole ‘I’m the devil’ thing? Is he legit crazy and that’s why your family let him go or is he playing crazy so they’ll let him go? ...I guess I’m past thinking he just does it for attention.”

Amenadiel shifted nervously. “Lucifer doesn’t lie.”

Dan rolled his eyes, “Unless it’s lies of omission or selectively told truths arranged to mislead-”

“Yes,” Amenadiel agreed.

“So either he believes he’s the Devil or it’s true that he’s ‘the Devil’ in some sense and I’m just missing the context?” Dan asked.

A brief smile crossed Amenadiel’s face. “Yes.”

“Thanks man, that clarifies everything,” Dan said sarcastically. “Now go get your brother and drag him to the nearest doctor. _Medical doctor_, not Linda.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving to the U.S.


	8. Heaven's Design

“You’re the human Amenadiel believes will heal Samael where I failed,” Rafael said eyeing Linda haughtily. “I can’t say I’m impressed.”

Linda felt her heart leap into her throat as memories of being confronted by the Goddess of Creation surged to the forefront of her mind. She took a deep breath and with a calm she certainly didn’t feel she said, “Rafael? Neither Lucifer nor Amenadiel ever mentioned that you were one of their _sisters._”

Rafael blinked in confusion several times. “Oh. Yes. I’d heard that humans tend to use my name for males.”

“Is Lucifer your younger or elder brother?” Linda asked, determinedly projecting polite curiosity.

“Younger. Amenadiel is the First Born. I’m of the Second Tier as is Samael but he and Michael are the youngest of us. Uriel was the eldest of the Third Tier,” Rafael answered. “The latter tiers are... different. They were created after Mother was consigned to Hell.”

Linda relaxed fractionally at Rafael’s bemused willingness to answer banal questions. “I don’t believe that Lucifer’s wings regrowing or not was ever a physical issue,” she said, shifting from small talk to professional consultation. “Does that make any sense to you? Because it doesn’t to me.”

“It makes no sense!” Rafael exclaimed in frustration. She sank onto Linda’s couch. “This isn’t what I do! I oversee the development of _human_ medical advancement. Looking after my siblings when they’re hurt isn’t my purpose. There’s no need for one with such a purpose! An appropriate feather and a firm hand until whatever stupidity that got them injured in the first place has passed is all the healing angels have ever needed.”

“An appropriate feather?” Linda asked. “I knew Maze healed Amenadiel after he was stabbed using one of the feathers from Lucifer’s original wings but do different feathers have different properties?”

Rafael grimaced. “The most common cause of injuries among angels is brawls with other angels. I’ve found the best healing comes when the sibling who caused the hurt in the first place offers a feather. Injuries from Infernal blades, like Samael’s, while much less common, can be healed easily by any angel willing to donate a feather and who wouldn’t be willing?”

“A boost of divinity coupled with remorse or concern?” Linda asked. Then almost to herself she murmured, “Except no one offered anything to Lucifer after he Fell.”

Rafael drew herself up defensively.

Quickly Linda asked, “Have you heard Amenadiel’s theory about what happened to _his_ wings?”

“I know Amenadiel believes that his wings rotted because he felt guilt over the lengths he went to in trying to return Samael to his place in Hell and that they recovered when he believed he had redeemed himself,” Rafael said dismissively. “Similarly you believe that it was Samael’s feelings about himself the created his ‘Devil Face’ and restored his wings after he cut them off and burned them.”

“I don’t know if wings are different from other limbs,” Linda admitted. “At first I thought they had to be, I mean how could he just cut off his own limbs?! Not just once, repeatedly. Also the bit with humans going mad with exposure to divinity; I can say with a great deal of certainty that exposure to the rest of Lucifer’s body isn’t an issue.”

“Or Amenadiel’s?” Rafael said sarcastically.

A faint smirk with accompanying blush graced Linda’s face. Then, more seriously, she continued, “But when Amenadiel and I were cleaning up the wings Lucifer cut off they were very much flesh and blood. And yet, Lucifer honestly _doesn’t_ look at his wings as being part of his body; to him they belong to his Father.”

“Samael has entertained some strange notions in the past but that’s utterly ridiculous,” Rafael said with a frown. “Father and Mother made every part of our bodies, not just our wings. Our divinity is more concentrated in our feathers but they’re still part of us!”

“Is that why his wings didn’t burn when he Fell?” Linda asked.

Rafael’s expression became bleak. “No one intended for him to burn,” she said. “It was Samael’s_ purpose_ to deal with the Darkness, both demons and those humans who would inevitably abused their free will, but he refused. Amenadiel and Michael thought Samael would realize Father was right if he’d just do as he was told for a bit. They broke his wings so he’d be trapped in the Infernal Plane long enough to get used to it.” Rafael’s hands twisted together in her lap, “I know them, they didn’t mean to hurt Sam like that. If I’d known he was going to catch fire I would have intervened. We wouldn’t have just watched it happen if any of us had _known_ what was going to happen when Sam Fell.”

“You’re saying he Fell like a meteor,” Linda said grimly. “Wait. Lucifer burned his wings. _I_ burned a whole dumpster of cut off wings. Why _do_ his wings burn in normal flames?” she wondered tangentially. “Is it because they’re cut off from his body?”

“It’s because he wanted them to burn. Samael Light-bringer willed the stars to ignite, there’s not much he can’t set on fire,” Rafael said dryly.

“But they don’t _rot_ after he cuts them off either,” Linda said.

“And you think his arm will?” Rafael shook her head, “It won’t. Uriel’s body won’t rot. We were created directly by the God and Goddess of Creation, our forms will never know decay.” Rafael’s gaze turned distant and guiltily. “No one knew he’d burn either. It wasn’t supposed to happen, it wasn’t what anyone wanted to happen. Why didn’t Uriel know? Amenadiel followed as quickly as he could. He came back- Badly shaken. After that, none of the rest of us had the nerve to go.”

* * *

“Chloe, you have a minute?” Dan asked.

“Yeah. Actually, I was looking for you,” Chloe said. “It’s your week with Trixie but you know she’d love to see Lucifer… And she’ll make us suffer if we don’t come clean about him being back sooner rather than later.”

“About Lucifer,” Dan said. “I was talking to Amenadiel, his arm’s not healing right and he hasn’t seen a real- a medical doctor. Linda’s not exactly going to be able to help if he’s got some kind of infection.”

“It’s fine,” Chloe said dismissively. “He saw his sister about it, that’s more than he did either time he ended up gut-shot. I know it’s a little weird but it’s just one of those things, like how he elicits confessions.”

“I thought wasn’t as bad as it looked during the hostage situation,” Dan protested. “And when else?”

“Malcolm,” Chloe said flatly.

Dan flinched.

“I honestly thought he was dead that night but he left under his own power and if I hadn’t seen the puddle of blood I would have sworn he never got shot at all,” Chloe said. “Look, Dan you don’t have to believe what Lucifer says about being the Devil but believe what you’ve seen with your own eyes. Lucifer can elicit confessions or complete mental breakdowns in seconds. He’s inhumanly strong. And he walks off bullet wounds.”

“Amenadiel admitted that he isn’t healing right,” Dan argued.

“He’s fine. They’re fighting about whether or not he should get a prosthetic,” Chloe lied. It sounded more plausible than: ‘Amenadiel’s worried about what’s happening in Hell while Lucifer tries to work out how to get his arm to regenerate.’

“So could I steal Trixie for a night before she finds out Lucifer’s back and takes matters into her own hands?” Chloe asked.

* * *

Remiel tasted blood, she choked on it as it ran down her windpipe and the gurgling sound as air escaped through the gaping hole in her throat terrified her. She didn’t feel the hands softening her fall. She tried to raise her hands to stem the bleeding but they wouldn’t move.

“Somebody try to flag down one of her siblings!” a man ordered.

“I’ve got a feather,” a woman said.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m not going to stand around watching her choke, bleed out and revive over and over until one of the angels lower themselves to talk to us,” the woman said sharply.

Remiel felt a burst of warmth and strength flow into the wound to her throat. She took a deep breath then sat up and looked around. She found herself in the middle of a grassy lane between towering, fantastical skyscrapers. Dozens of human souls were staring at her curiously. “Wha-” Her voice caught in her throat and she leaned over to spit out a mouthful of blood. “Where’s Michael? How did you have one of my sibling's feathers? Where am I?”

“You might say ‘thank you’,” the woman said tartly. “After all we did heal you.”

“With a feather stolen from one of my siblings!” Remiel snapped. Then she frowned, there was something familiar about the woman.

“Well, I wouldn’t say stolen precisely, we pick ‘em up all the time after your little fights,” the man said. He shook his head. “You know there was a time, before I died, when I’d of thought Angels were peaceable types, if they existed at all. But no, you lot are always in one brawl or another. Just the other day Raziel was screaming about a page being torn outta one of his books. You know feathers flew over that one.”

The woman snorted in amusement, “Most of us humans show up with an _understanding_ about the dangers of getting between a librarian and their books.”

Remiel winced. She could easily picture it. The list of siblings who treated books with the reverence Raziel believe due was practically non-existent.

“Raziel actually talks to us, not like most of you,” the man continued disapprovingly.

“I’m in one of the human ghettos?” Remiel realized. “Why would I have been drawn here?”

The oddly familiar woman rolled her eyes. “As if anyone tells us anything,” she said. “It’s just: You’re in Heaven. Have a nice after-life.”

“To be fair, they were a bit more thorough back when Uriel was around,” the man said.

“Well, the head of the human side of the welcoming committee took off to get it on with Lucifer right after I died,” the woman said. Remiel was certain she should know her. “We adapted… And don’t say Michael’s an adaptation. I got his version of the orientation speech. The main thing I gathered from him was: ‘Don’t bother asking for God. Dad doesn’t talk to us, He’s certainly not going to bother with a bunch of lesser beings’. You know, the way he whines, for a few minutes there I thought I was talking to Lucifer.”

Remiel winced at the too accurate imitation of Michael’s whining. _‘What am I doing still standing here?’_ she thought. _‘I need to find out what happened to Michael after those demons ambushed us.’_ She spread her wings but before she could fly off the woman grabbed her arm.

“Wait!” the woman exclaimed. “You were with the group that brought Lucifer. Is he okay? What’s going to happen to him?”

“You don’t have to worry about Lucifer,” Remiel said patronizingly. “It’s not the start of Armageddon, Lucifer’s not here to pull any souls down to Hell. Actually, it’s Azrael who removes missorted souls from the Celestial Plane.”

“I’m not scared _of_ Lucifer,” the woman said. “I’m scared_ for_ him. We heard Michael dragged him to a cell. That he was bleeding out, half dead! What did you lot do to him?!”

“Why would a human care about the Devil?” Remiel asked.

“Because I actually met him. Because he’s my friend. Because I wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t helped me figure out how to turn myself around,” the woman said, her eyes narrowed accusingly. “See, the funny thing is? Humans who actually meet the Devil and _don’t_ end up liking him, at least reluctantly… Well, they don’t end up here.”

And a light went on, “You’re that human Amenadiel flew up,” Remiel exclaimed.

Charlotte Richards nodded.

“You got got shot shielding him,” Remiel finished. “I- Thank you,” she stammered. “My big brother told me about how he fell. I’m not sure what would have happened to him if he’d been killed while he was mortal.”

“Can you tell us what’s going on with Lucifer?” the man asked. “You angels are doing so much talking about him that even we hear but it’s all rumor and some pretty wild ones at that.”

“I suppose you know Lucifer too?” Remiel asked the man.

“Only second hand,” he said then held out his hand. Remiel stared at it blankly. He shook his head and sighed. “John Decker,” he introduced himself. “Your brother is my daughter’s partner. Saved her life a couple times. My granddaughter, too. I’m real grateful for that one.”

“Why?” Remiel asked. “I mean, why your granddaughter more than your daughter?”

John smiled wryly. “I want Chloe to have a long life and get the chance to watch her daughter grow up but I’ve got no worries about where she’ll end up after she dies and she’ll do alright in Heaven.”

“Well, of course, it’s Heaven,” Remiel said. “And, of course your granddaughter would come here if she died. All children do, Azrael makes a special point of escorting them up. She says they don’t understand death well enough to judge themselves so she intercedes. Uriel agreed with her and Father didn’t say anything against it so she must have the right of it.”

John shook his head, “This is a good place to _be_ but it’s no good for _becoming_.”

“It’s a Lotus-Eater issue,” Charlotte explained. “It’s easy, too easy to bliss-out endlessly reliving the best moments of your life. If you can resist the Loops, you can reconnect with your loved ones, learn that skill you always meant to find time for,” a quick grin lit her face, “Or catch one of the couple hundred plays Shakespeare or Wilde penned since their deaths.” She gestured to the city around them. “Humans built all this,” she said.

Remiel took a more careful look, the city was clean and bright, the building designs driven as much by aesthetics as function. Displays of artworks and crafts were intermingled with gardens. The city was a labor of love.

“We’re not resource limited here,” John continued. “And this place has a way of smoothing most the rough edges between folks. We’ve got material scientists from from the twenty-first century collaborating with the architects of the great Cathedrals. It’s amazing what we accomplish. But only if you can fight off the Loops.”

“No one really knows why,” Charlotte said. “Maybe because they don’t have the experience to know that life’s supposed to have its ups and downs but kids just can’t seem to escape their Loops.”

“We know they’re happy but they’re not really _here_ with us,” John said. “So I’m eternally grateful your brother saved Trixie from that, I dearly want the chance to meet that girl. And I’d really appreciate anything you could tell us about what happened to Lucifer.”

“If he’s in trouble we want to help,” Charlotte said as she subtly guided Remiel into walking with them. “Character references. If you want facts about what he actually does while he’s visiting Earth. There are a lot of us who would happily speak on Lucifer’s behalf.”

“It’s nothing like what you’re thinking,” Remiel assured her. “We only brought Lucifer here because he was injured. It wasn’t us that hurt him, it was his demons. He was overthrown.”

“What was he doing in Hell in the first place?” John asked.

Remiel sighed and set herself for a long explanation.


	9. Guilty Conscious

Michael knew that he was behind one of Hell’s countless doors. He knew that. But the streets of the Silver City trembled with their Father’s wrath and Samael stormed out of their Father’s workshop slamming the door behind him, not a hint of repentance on his face.

“What did you do?” Michael demanded grabbing his brother’s arm before he could fly off to sulk.

Samael shook him off, sputtering and nearly incoherent with rage. “He gave them a choice! Them and not me!”

With a frustrated huff, Michael took to the air after his brother. “What are you talking about Sam?”

“Don’t call me that!” Samael hissed. “I won’t be Father’s venom! If they get a choice why shouldn’t I?”

The next thing Michael knew Samael had pulled aside a group of their siblings, _“Father doesn’t plan to assign these mortals a purpose. They are to be allowed to determine their purpose according to their wishes!”_

And there were muttering and fearful glances towards Father’s workshop. “Creatures with no God-Given purpose?” “Father’s given this Man leave to name the lesser creatures. What if they’re like demons? What if they hate us?”

_“I lit the stars for Father, I’ll be the light-bringer, Lucifer. Father can find someone else to be his punisher because I won’t do it!”_

Uriel came to Amenadiel and Michael, “Samael has declared himself not of God. And some of the others are beginning to agree with him.”

Amenadiel shook his head. “Father’s wisdom is absolute. None would gainsay him, not even Sam.”

_“As I’ve told you before,” Lucifer said to a gathering of his siblings. “Father’s new creations have been allowed to find their own purpose. And they’ve discovered a most marvelous pastime, it’s called ‘sex’. The male, Adam- Well, Father clearly made it in His image; It thinks it knows the right of everything and its way is the only way. It had a terrible quarrel with its first companion when she wanted to spice things up a bit, probably reminded Dad of Mum because He took Adam’s side, kicked Lilith out and made him a new companion. But Adam, idiot that he is, couldn’t quit talking about the fight with his new companion. That got Eve to wondering if he wished he’d said yes to Lilth. So I told Eve, if she desired, she could try anything she was curious about on me and if it really was better she could show it to Adam. As it turns out, there are many, many amazing ways of doing it. You don’t even have to use the designated orifices and protuberances. Poor thing was nervous about talking to Adam about it, so I offered to lend a hand and it turns out that there are even more lovely things you can do with three bodies. Really, they must sort out this whole ‘be fruitful and multiply’ thing because you have to try this but the two of them can barely keep up with me. If we all tried to play with them it would be disastrous.”_

Uriel grabbed Amenadiel’s arm desperately. “You don’t understand. Father neglects us for his mortals. Mother’s on Lucifer's side.”

“None of us like Father’s new creatures,” Michael said dismissively. “We’re ordered never to kill a mortal but they are to be allowed the choice to be wicked? Still, how does that have anything to do with Sam?” Heaven’s warrior grimaced distastefully. “He thinks this whole ‘free will’ thing is a great idea.”

“It doesn’t matter what Lucifer thinks!” Uriel exclaimed in frustration. “He’s openly speaking out against Father. It doesn’t matter what he says! It doesn’t matter if he’s got a point! He’s making the unthinkable thinkable. By declaring himself Lucifer, not Samael, he’s become a rallying point for anyone who disagrees with Father. It begins with Lucifer but it doesn’t end with him. Why can’t any of you understand! If Lucifer doesn’t stop IT WILL NEVER END!”

“Be easy Uriel,” Amenadiel soothed. “We’ll do something about this ‘Lucifer’ nonsense. We just have to make Sam realize that Father’s right. Father’s always right.”

“Even when it comes to His stupid new pets,” Michael added.

The three of them, plus Remiel who was practically Amenadiel’s shadow, confronted Lucifer a short time later. _“We are God and Goddess’ children. We’ve done great and marvelous works, forming the Material form the firment. Why shouldn’t we be granted the privilege of choice? Something which mortals are given as a basic right.”_

They dragged Lucifer away from his rapt audience. “You have to stop this insanity: Speaking out against Father, questioning Him,” Amenadiel scolded. Uriel, Michael and Remiel flanked the First Born, adding their weight to his disapproval. “Father’s given you a vital purpose. Who are you to reject it Samael?”

Lucifer looked to Uriel, as if for support. “Father won’t tell them what they’re supposed to do but if they do wrong they’re to be punished, by ME.” And for the first time Michael noticed the bruised, injured look to his rebellious brother’s eyes. “Father commanded me to love them and in practically the same breath he told me I was to punish them. Don’t you understand? I’m to love them but they won’t love me back!”

“You put being loved by these humans above Father’s commands?” Amenadiel demanded harshly.

“I don’t want to do it! Why should I do Father’s dirty work?” Lucifer exclaimed, desperation edging his voice. “Why should they love Him and hate me when I’m only doing as Father commands?”

“You were made for this task,” Amenadiel said. “It will suit you.”

“It will happen that way, tell them Uri!” Lucifer begged.

“You will do what you were told!”

Against the four of them Lucifer never stood a chance. He pulled his blows against Remiel and Uriel anyway, they were of the third tier and Lucifer had always been careful with their younger siblings. It wasn’t long before the four of them had him pinned to the ground, “I warned you, Sam,” Uriel said. “I warned you that it would be this way if you wouldn’t change.”

Lucifer smiled, “This way, at least they’ll know it wasn’t my choice. This way they’ll know I didn’t want to love them and hurt them.”

“He won’t stay where he belongs unless we make him,” Remiel said.

In the penthouse Michael remembered the silken, softness of Lucifer’s feather under his fingers and the straight, strong bones beneath them. He remembered the resistance as he pulled them wide, the pop as the joint dislocated. The snap as he twisted until he felt the bone break. He remembered the choked gagging noise that came from his brother as shock robbed him of the voice to scream at what had been done to him.

“I didn’t even really disagree with Sam,” he told the memory-ghost of Uriel, grief stricken as Hell forced him to remember things he’d spent eons forgetting.

“Is that why you left me alone?” Uriel asked cruelly. “Because you _blamed_ me for what you did?”

* * *

“You can give up looking for the hospital where Lucifer was treated,” Dan told Ella with a troubled look. “According to Amenadiel they’ve got another sister who took care of it. And that’s all I got out of him.”

“We’ve been assuming that Charlie’s been used as leverage against them,” Ella reminded him.

Dan sighed, “Yeah and I can’t blame Amenadiel for protecting his kid. It’s just- Lucifer’s worked with us long enough, I wish they’d trust the police.”

“Well, we show them we’ve got their back then maybe they’ll start working with us,” Ella said. “Get Chloe to take him to a doctor, if anyone could talk him into it she can.”

“Already tried and it was a bust,” Dan reported. “Lucifer coming back like this, it’s really thrown her for a loop. It’s like, now, _she_ believes his B.S. ...Ella, how bad was Lucifer shot during the hostage situation at Lux, the one with Marco Franklin?”

Ella made a face, “I’m not really the best person to ask. You know, between the alcohol and ecstasy I took and the coke Lucifer gave me so I could focus to defuse the bomb. I am so lucky I came out of that night in one piece.”

“I still can’t believe you let Lucifer’s ditzy girlfriend give you drugs,” Dan said shaking his head.

“Can we not talk about it?” Ella asked. “I’ve got a window for Charlotte: After graduating high school she did the whole take a year off to backpack Europe thing. I mean, sure, she could have been having a secret life anytime but there’s a year where she’s basically off the grid and based on what we’ve been thinking about her age and Lucifer’s eighteen makes sense. I talked to one of her classmates who was supposed to have gone with her, apparently Charlotte got in a huge fight with her boyfriend, like their first week in Europe, then she took off on her own.”

“That’s a window alright,” Dan said grimly, picturing Charlotte at eighteen, alone and in a foriegn country, with a man old enough to be Lucifer’s father.

“So… we’re thinking cult?” Ella asked.

“Makes more sense than thinking Lucifer’s the actual Devil and Charlotte’s first ex- is God,” Dan said with a shrug.

“I wasn’t able to find anything on Rae-Rae,” Ella continued. “Not a family name, not even a fake one. Nothing on what she was doing in Detroit. There isn’t even a police report about her death.”

“But you remember her dying?” Dan asked as he frowned at the searches on the screen, Ella seemed to be searching several years worth of reports.

“Weeellllll….” Ella hesitated. “Not technically?”

“Not technically?” Dan asked.

“There was this big car wreck when I was eight,” Ella said. “Twelve car pile-up. Rae-Rae sat with me for hours while the first responders tried to get me out. Talked to me about what was going on, helped me not freak out… My abuela was driving me home from a school play that night. Our car, the front end went under the truck in front of us. It- she-”

Dan wrapped an arm around Ella and rubbed her back comfortingly.

After a moment Ella took a deep breath, “Rae-Rae promised she’d stay with me until I was back with my family. She barely left my side the whole time I was in the hospital and even when I got better she’d still hang out with me. She was my best friend... Even if it did cause some problems.”

“Problems? How?” Dan asked.

“Well, mostly people thinking I was crazy,” Ella said with a small, nervous smile. “No one else ever saw Rae-Rae because well- I always sort of figured that she was one of the people who died in that wreck. But when I checked, nothing.”

“You met _Lucifer Morningstar’s_ little sister _Azrael_ during a near death experience?” Dan asked. He shook his head, “No, no I am not considering that. I’m not. Absolutely not.”

After several moments’ hesitation Ella nodded in agreement. “About getting Lucifer to a doctor? Why not just go for it?” she suggested.

Dan looked confused.

“You take him,” Ella said. “We know he’s got a session with Linda right now and we know he almost never makes the whole hour without getting ‘ideas’ and taking off to put them into practice… But what do you want to bet that Amenadiel and Maze forgot about that when they were planning on who was going to pick him up?”

“Ella, you’re a genius,” Dan said.

* * *

“What a lovely coincidence,” Lucifer announced, grinning broadly when he spotted Dan’s car pulling up outside of Linda’s office. He slid into the passenger seat before Dan could even turn off the engine. “You’re right on time to give me a ride back to the precinct.”

“Got an errand to do on the way. You don’t mind do you?” Dan said sarcastically.

Lucifer considered for a moment. “I suppose the Detective must suffer my brother’s presence a bit longer then,” he sighed. “Go where you will.”

Dan shook his head in disbelief.

“The Detective won’t allow me to drive my corvette,” Lucifer informed Dan in an aggrieved tone a bit later. “It’s terribly inconvenient.”

“Not nearly as inconvenient as prying your body out of the wreckage when you crash after taking your hand off the wheel to shift,” Dan replied bluntly. “Why don’t you buy an automatic. You have more than enough money.”

“Automatics are boring to drive,” Lucifer complained. He frowned suspiciously as he started to recognize the route Dan was driving. “Daniel, where are we going?”

“The hospital,” Dan replied. “I was talking with your Brother, turns out that you didn’t escape from a hospital because you never went to one in the first place.”

“Of course not, I’m the Devil,” Lucifer replied. Then he added, “You needn’t worry, my sister looked me over. You might have heard of her? Rafael, Healer of God.”

“There are currently two negligent homicide cases on the docks because the parents made the choice to practiced in Faith Healing for their kids,” Dan said. “Chloe’s not thinking straight, you have an interesting relationship with reality on a good day but too many people I care about were hurting when you left so I’m taking you to a hospital, a real doctor.”

“I will not,” Lucifer informed Dan.

Dan nodded but kept driving toward the hospital.

Lucifer studied Dan pensively as they pulled into the parking lot. He remained seated when Dan turned off the engine and stepped out of the car. Dan walked around to the passenger side and unceremoniously hauled the devil out of his car. “You need to see a doctor.”

“Why are you doing this?” Lucifer asked. “Why do you care?”

“I told you: People I care about hurt when you’re gone,” Dan said, his gaze skating away from Lucifer’s.

Lucifer’s breath caught. For a moment something like horror flashed across his face. “You feel _guilty_,” he accused.

The next thing Dan knew he was being slammed against the van he’d parked beside hard enough to dent the side paneling. Most of the precinct had witnessed, and dismissed, the impossible inhuman strength hidden by Lucifer’s lean frame but having it suddenly turned on him was shocking. It crossed Dan’s mind that he’d seen Lucifer casually shove a man with fifty pounds on him fifteen feet, through a plate glass window _and_ Dan had been punched by Lucifer with barely a bruise to show for it - Obviously Lucifer had been holding back.

“Delilah, now you! I won’t tolerate it, Daniel!” Lucifer hissed. “I don’t keep people I _like!_”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Dan sputtered, shoving futilely at the iron bar posing as Lucifer’s hand pinning him to the side of the van.

“Hell is exactly what I’m talking about,” Lucifer said. “STOP FEELING GUILTY, IMMEDIATELY! No that’s not going to work. Dr. Linda! You don’t mind if I borrow your auto do you Daniel?”

Whether he did or didn’t ended up not mattering as Dan found himself watching his car drive away without him long before he’d processed anything Lucifer had said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now off to finish Christmas cards... Actually should have done that the other way round. ;-)


	10. On the Cusp

Chloe pulled up to the curb outside of the hospital and unlocked the door so Dan could climb in. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “Maze is going to drop Charlie off with Linda then she’ll track Lucifer and your car down-“

“Bet me a milkshake that Maze scores two for one and finds Lucifer at Linda’s,” Dan said.

Chloe turned to blink at him. “You’re taking this remarkably well. I mean- What were you thinking, trying to drag Lucifer to a hospital? What were you going to do when he refused treatment?”

Dan shrugged, “Get him to explain how he doesn’t need medical treatment because he’s the Devil and immortal. I figured I could push a tox screen and physical assessment through before he convinced anyone that he was competent to decline medical treatment.”

“Dan! That’s- You can’t-“ Chloe sputtered.

“Because Lucifer’s not actually human?” Dan asked.

Chloe gave him a stunned look.

“Our Lucifer being the actual Devil? I can’t wrap my head around it,” Dan said, shaking his head. “Lucifer is nothing like what church taught me the Devil was supposed to be back when my parents were dragging me to Sunday School. But Lucifer not being human? Oh yeah, I can totally see that. Or is that just my pride talking because a guy who looks bad enough that I was ready to literally, physically drag him into the ER casually manhandled me?”

“I’ve seen him stop a car by grabbing the bumper and a lamppost,” Chloe said. “And- I had a blood sample, after Malcolm shot him. Amenadiel concocted this ridiculous story about body armor and blood packs to convince me not to test it. I never bought his story but I didn’t test the blood either, even though Lucifer wanted me to.” She sighed, “Sometimes I wonder how much heartache I could have spared myself if I’d just done it... You’re really not going to blow a fuse over Lucifer stealing your car and leaving you stranded when you were just trying to look out for him?”

“Guess I was too distracted,” Dan said. He frowned, troubled. “Has Lucifer ever suggested that he believes guilt is what condemns a person to Hell?”

“Yeah, he’s said that’s how it works,” Chloe replied slowly.

“So- Well, he got it in his head that I was going to go to Hell and freaked out.” _Malcolm, less shooting him than lying about Malcolm and the things he did to maintain those lies. Perry Smith. Tiernan, what almost certainly would have happened had Lucifer been human._ Dan couldn’t imagine NOT feeling guilty given the things he’d done. “I could do without being slammed into vehicles or left watching my own taillights driving off but no, I’m not mad at him…

“Chloe, have you ever really thought about it? What it means that Lucifer thinks he’s the Devil?”

Chloe remembered Rome and Kinley’s insidious influence. How insignificant knowing that it was all real had made her feel. _‘How could an immortal, the actual Devil, have genuine feelings for someone like her?’_ She stole a worried glance at Dan. “You’ve got to remember: He doesn’t lie. He’s the same person he always was. You just know more.”

Dan shook his head, “No. Come on, I know that. Whatever he is, Lucifer’s not the biblical Devil. I meant was... No one wants someone they care about to end up in Hell, not even our self-proclaimed Devil. Lucifer said he doesn’t ‘keep’ the people he likes. No wonder he’s always running away. As soon as he decides he likes you, his endgame is to lose you.”

“What!?” Chloe hit the breaks and Dan grimaced as the seat belt cut into his shoulder.

“Well, think about it,” he said. “Lucifer makes friends with people like you and Ella and violently loathes people like Julian McCafferry but if he actually were the Devil who would he end up with? Forever? It would actually make some sense if he _did_ go around tempting people, just to have someone in Hell with him that he could stand, but he doesn’t.”

“The last thing Lucifer wants is to see anyone he cares about condemned to Hell,” Chloe said, her knuckles going white on the steering wheel. Under her breath she muttered, “The only sibling who ever came to see him only did so to keep him there. Sure there where the demons but Lucifer, and Maze, only figured out that she had real feelings a few years ago, what kind of relationship is that? They isolated him! Those sanctimonious _assholes_, they punished him for wanting a choice by locking him in with people who abused having them.”

* * *

“Arrggg!” Ella shrieked when she turned around and found Azrael standing behind her.

“Hey,” the self-proclaimed ghost said. “So um, Lopez, could we pretend that- hypothetically -I wasn’t dead and that Lu isn’t a method actor or -um- nuts?”

“You mean, hypothetically, discuss what if Lucifer were the Devil and you guys’ dad was actually God?” Ella asked. Then she frowned. “Wait! All those times when we used to talk about Church and the Devil and stuff were we _really_ talking about your brother?”

“Weeelll, hypothetically, the Devil is my brother right now, so what’s the diff?” Azrael asked.

“Rae-Rae! Do you have any clue how much my actual, real live religious beliefs are, apparently, based on you talking about your family!” Ella exclaimed. Then a calculated look came into her eyes. “So, okay, let’s do this: Your brother, your dad, Lucifer getting sent to Hell, let’s talk about it pretending that your Dad is capital ‘G’-God.”

Azrael nodded eagerly. “So, since Dad’s actually God and he gave Lu a job, Lu has to do it right? He can’t just go around saying he doesn’t want to.”

“‘Cause your dad’s omnipotent, omniscient and good?” Ella asked. “He’s always right, therefore if Lucifer- If any of you disagree with your dad well, you have to be wrong?”

“Exactly!” Azrael said.

“So what about your mom?” Ella asked. “Is she less than your dad or just evil, ‘cause you said they fought. Did your mom disagree with your dad because she didn’t know what was right or because she didn’t care about what was right?”

Azrael hesitated. “I used to think Dad cared most about what was best for you, humans that is, and Mom cared more about our family. Dad gave us purpose and -um- I’m not Lu, I like having a purpose but they were all for you, maybe not always nice but necessary. Mom thought He spent too much time on humanity.”

“So neither of them was wrong? They just had different priorities,” Ella prompted. “And maybe Lucifer was just trying to work out for himself what was right when even your parents couldn’t agree on it.”

Azrael shook her head, “Mom was bad. After Lu’s rebellion, she hurt Uriel.”

“That’s the rebellion that Uriel said was going to happen so your family kicked Lucifer out preemptively.” Regardless, Ella knew what their mom had done was awful but what she’d heard about Uriel left a sour taste.

“She didn’t do it for Lu!” Azrael exclaimed. “If Mom cared about Lu she would have stopped them before he burned and She didn’t!”

“Neither did your dad.”

“Mom’s the bad one!”

“How do you know?” Ella asked.

“Because Mom caused your stupid Flood and a bunch of plagues before Dad destroyed Her body and locked Her soul in Hell!” Azrael exclaimed. “Then He told us, with actual words and everything, that there was power in belief so Mom had to be forgotten, that it would be safer for Lu that way. He had human history rewritten so He’d take the blame for the Flood and a bunch of plagues that were really Mom because it was better that He be blamed for that shit than to have Mom be remembered, even as a villain. If Mom was mad because of what happened to Lu, why did Dad have to protect Lu from her?”

“Your Dad locked your Mom up in the same place where Lucifer was and told you that she was a threat to Lucifer? That’s protecting him?” Ella asked skeptically.

“She’d already hurt Uriel. She didn’t protect Lu from burning.”

“Neither did your dad, but that’s okay?” Ella demanded.

“He’s God!” Azrael exclaimed.

“He’s your dad and she’s your mom,” Ella argued.

And Azrael’s wings popped out.

Ella’s knees went out beneath her, her eyes and mouth wide open in shock. “You’ve- You’ve got-”

Azrael twisted around to look over her shoulder. “Oh shit,” she said.

* * *

As Charlotte and John led Remiel along with them a tall, dark-skinned man intercepted them with a relieved grin, “Ms. Richards, my grandparents were out of their loop and they wanted to talk to me about my father. Whatever you said to them really helped!”

“What was that about?” Remiel asked when the man had moved on.

“Societal guilt,” Charlotte explained. “Plenty of people up here who died without significant guilt because they hadn’t done anything wrong by the lights of the society they lived in but then they start interacting with others up here, the generations that came after them especially, and they come to realize that they were wrong. Horribly wrong sometimes.”

Remiel frowned. “Why are they here if they did something so terrible? We have systems in place to screen out your psychopaths and fanatics.”

“They’re not bad people, they’re just products of the place and time where they lived,” Charlotte said. “Genesis might have gotten the details wrong-”

John grimaced, “And everyone here who’s spent any time talking to Ms. Eve knows the details. All the details. Way too many details, especially given him and my Chloe.” Remiel wrinkled her nose, she’d heard her brother rhapsodizing about those same ‘details’ before his Fall.

“-But it made it’s point: What damns us is the _knowledge_ of good and evil,” Charlotte finished. “Ends-justify-the-means/for-the-greater-good bullshit doesn’t cut it but if you can honestly say you didn’t know what you did was wrong, that’s good enough for Heaven. The problem is _staying_ ignorant.”

“You don’t go to Hell for guilt you develop after you’re here,” John said. “But you can certainly bring your own personal Hell here. Take Isaiah’s grandparents,” he nodded after the man who’d spoken to them. “They were plantation owners before the Civil War. Their son, Isahiah’s father fell in love with a slave, he helped her escape out west where they raised Isaiah together. The tragedy of it is Isaiah’s father isn’t up here. Led to some real ugliness between the mother and the grandparents. That’s where I came into it. Not so much call for police up here but I’m not out of a job either.

“As time passed the grandparents came to believe the mother was right, that they’d damned their son to Hell trying to guilt him out of following what he knew in his heart to be right.” John sighed, “Trading stories we see too much of that: People who were a bit ahead of their time but lacked the strength or conviction to act on their beliefs or who were left feeling that they’d betrayed were they came from, people who aren’t _here_. Being born into a stable societies raises your odds of making it to Heaven over those who were born on the cusp of change, even a change for the better.”

“That doesn’t seem right,” Remiel said then clapped a hand over her mouth, looking horrified. Charlotte and John traded a knowing look.

“It doesn’t seem right to people here either,” John said. “Especially after they have to start questioning things they spent their whole lives holding to be true.”

“Believe me, no one likes asking those sorts of questions,” Charlotte said. “Up here, enclaves form around certain beliefs for the very purpose of avoiding those questions. But as a society, we can’t hide forever. Down on Earth people keep dying but fewer and fewer show up holding that belief. Some of the ones who did hold it in life will reach out beyond the limits of their upbringing and the Enclave starts weakening.”

“As it does the ones who hold most fast to the belief may fall into Loops out of sheer denial,” John said. “And some, like Isaiah’s grandparents, develop severe guilt, enough to turn their Loop here into a Hell Loop, even up here.

“Given my background I hate the idea of giving up on anyone,” Charlotte confided. “Violet and Monty wouldn’t have been suffering if they were truly bad people. They realized that they were wrong and it was tearing them apart that their son ended up paying the price for it. There’s nothing we can do for him but they’re still within reach. They’ve done the hardest part already, now they just have to learn to move past it and start living again.” Then she shrugged, “For a certain definition of the word ‘living’.”

“The institution of slavery in the US is a particularly bad case because it was so deeply pervasive,” John said. “If you were born into that time and place you were involved, slavery was a part of your life. But most societies have something they at least condoned that time’s proven to be- Not just wrong, _wicked_ for lack of a better word. We don’t get some blanket enlightenment coming through the Gates and once you’re here there’s really no where else to go. Anyone who doesn’t want to hide in some Loop has got to find a way to accept and adapt. We try to help each other with that.”


	11. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since both Lucifer and Carlisle Hell Loops didn't strictly adhering to actual events, even if they were thematically accurate I'm assuming that Reece’s is the same.

A chain bound Michael to the Gates of Heaven, the air stank of burnt flesh and Uriel lay just beyond his reach, broken and slowly bleeding out. “You have the key, you idiot,” despite looking barely alive, Uriel’s voice was mocking and disdainful. “Even if it was what Father wanted, which I wonder about, you didn’t _have_ to do what you did. Sam did what he wanted… So did I, in the end. When I thought Mother was coming back I did what I had to. I _knew_ I couldn’t count on any of you to look out for me.”

“And look how that turned out!” Michael protested. “You destroyed. Sam exiled, mutilated by his demons.”

“You did that, exiled Samael, not Father,” Uriel said. “I wouldn’t have gone after Mother if you’d left me any choice. Father never says anything, he never does anything. I wonder if he even cares at all.”

“You won’t make me doubt Father, Uri, you won’t,” Michael said shaking his head.

The gates creaked open and women stepped through. She was pale, as if all color had been drained from her. When she smiled, she revealed sharp, white teeth between bloodlessly pale lips. “Are you enjoying your accommodations my King?” she asked slyly.

“You think I’m Lucifer?” Michael snapped. “I always knew demons were stupid.”

The woman shrugged languidly, “One angel or another, it’s all the same to me. Even Dromos’ plan with the baby wasn’t entirely idiotic. But if you’d ever spent time with any of the hellions I gave birth you’d know why it wouldn’t have been my first choice. But you?” She smiled slowly. “All I have to do with you, to get my perfect king, is break you. And that, my lovely, will be a pleasure. Hell _exists_ to break the likes of you.”

“Do your worst demon,” Michael challenged.

“Lilith,” the woman corrected. “We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other, you should learn my name angel.”

She looked around herself then took a deep breath, tasting the char on in the air. “You’re the one who broke my last King for me. I would thank you… If you’d actually done the job right. Lucifer has been a pain in my ass ever since he stopped snarling and started talking.” Lilith smiled again, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure your mind is so thoroughly shattered not even your Father would be able to put the pieces together again.”

* * *

Dan walked into Dr. Martin’s office and did a double take when he found Lucifer sitting behind her desk.

“Don’t worry Daniel, Dr. Linda agrees with me that it is past time I told you a few things. I made clear to her that I wished to do this myself but she’ll be by in a half-hour and has cleared out the rest of her morning to… Deal with the aftermath.”

“Is this about the other day?” Dan asked.

Lucifer nodded. “You still feel guilty, about how you reacted to me after Charlotte’s death,” he said, his tone stilted and awkward. Lucifer smiled weakly, “I think, one way or another, it should clear up your guilt quite nicely.”

Dan took a deep breath, “Lucifer, you’re not the only one who needs to come clean. You were right when you told me it wasn’t your fault Charlotte died.”

“I know that,” Lucifer said. “You had reverted to being a douche. It was annoying, nothing for you to torment yourself over. But you have to understand-”

“No,” Dan interrupted. “I- I wasn’t going to tell you this. Told myself -told Dr. Martin- that it was old news and I didn’t need to burden you with it when you were dealing with-” Dan’s eyes strayed to Lucifer’s empty sleeve. Then he steeled himself, “But Linda doesn’t know what I did. Not really. If she did…”

“Daniel, this is important. You have to listen to me,” Lucifer insisted.

“I gave Perry Smith to the Russian Mob,” Dan said flatly. “I couldn’t stand that he was going to get away with what he did to Chloe’s family because of me.”

Lucifer blinked at him uncomprehendingly. “That’s good?” he asked.

Dan licked his lips, “Julian McCaffrey was scum. He was a human trafficker and cop killer. He deserved everything you did to him and more. And I’m the last person who has any right to judge you for what you did to him. The only difference between what you did to McCaffrey and what I did to Smith was you did it yourself and you left him breathing.”

“I doubt he’d thank me for that,” Lucifer said, his eyes glinting with something that wasn’t really remorse.

“I set Tiernan on you. I nearly got my own daughter killed with my hypocrisy,” Dan confessed in a rush. “So if I feel guilty it’s for a damn good reason. If I’m going to Hell for it, it’s ‘cause I deserve it. You don’t have to try to save me.”

“Your spawn and Eve were unharmed, you didn’t mean for either of them to be caught in the middle. And, Daniel, you can’t harm me, I’m the Devil.”

“My actions put Trixie, all of you, in danger. You and Eve kept her safe. I will always owe you for that but it only makes what I did worse,” Dan tried to explain.

“You know that and you try to be better, the same as you did after Malcolm framed me. That’s why you don’t deserve Hell, Daniel,” Lucifer stated with stubborn conviction. “Hell is for the likes of Malcolm Graham and Perry Smith, those who would do anything to escape suffering the consequences of their actions. The likes of Julian McCaffrey, Jason Carlisle and _Cain_, who spend the whole of their existence justifying and denying responsibility for the evils they committed. Daniel, you are _NOT_ like them.”

“I keep making the same mistakes-“ Dan began.

“I need to make you understand. So shut up and listen,” Lucifer commanded, enough Hellfire crept into his voice to freeze Dan in his tracks.

Seeing the effect he’d had, Lucifer deliberately lightened his voice. “There is something I’m trying to tell you. Now, I believe the desk should be between us but I am uncertain who should be on which side. I have no wish for you to feel trapped however, if this goes poorly Dr. Linda would be a most excellent resource. In other words: You should stay, I should go. Which suggests that it would be better if I remained at the door… So I don’t have to close the distance between us in order to leave.”

Dan shook himself, “Man, even given it’s you, you’re being weird.” He dropped into Linda’s chair. “Stop trying to get me wound up-”

“Perhaps you are right Daniel. Let’s get on with it,” Lucifer said nervously. “I have told you, many times before, that I do not lie. However, it is_ important_ that I make you believe me when I say that I am the Devil.”

“I got it, you’re not human-” Dan began.

Lucifer shrugged his shoulders and, with a grimace of pain, a pair of massive white wings materialized behind him practically filling the office.

“... The fuck?” Dan swore. He couldn’t tear his eyes off the faintly luminescent wings, there was something about them that went beyond simply ‘not human’. He shook his head. “Not possible. Not real.”

“I thought this would be less traumatic,” Lucifer huffed. “But no one ever questions whether or not my Devil Face is real.” Speaking made his wings flutter and he winced then glanced over his shoulder. “I suppose they’re a bit less obviously divine than they normally are.”

“They’re broken,” Dan said slowly as his brain slowly registered the sharp, unnatural, bend in what would have been the ‘forearm’ on a bird on the left wing. Absently he noted three crusted puncture wounds on each wing.

“Well, my ability to heal seems a bit bollixed up at the moment,” Lucifer admitted. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention that to anyone. Raffie is less mother hen than mother dragon.” He rolled his shoulders again and after a brief catch the wings vanished back into the ether. “So you do understand that I am the Devil? And that Heaven and Hell are quite real?”

“Why are you showing me this?” Dan demanded. “Why not Chloe, she’s the one…”

“The Detective is already well aware,” Lucifer assured him. “But I need you to understand: I don’t want you in Hell. You don’t belong there.”

Dan shook his head, rejecting what Lucifer was saying.

“Is there anyone more qualified to say that?” Lucifer demanded helplessly, knowing very well that that wasn’t how the system worked. That, ultimately, it was Dan who would decide, not the Devil or even God himself.

Dan’s chin raised stubbornly.

“Do you remember Reese Getty?” Lucifer asked.

Dan frowned in confusion, “That reporter who shadowed you and Chloe during the Kavitsky case? Died in a car wreck right before you caught the guy right?”

“Not precisely,” Lucifer said. A bite entered his voice, “Reece and I had a _talk_, immediately after the lovely Melissa died in my club. Reece was distraught when he left me. I should have paid more attention, it was only luck that he wrapped his car around a highway divider rather than another vehicle. However, when all was said and done Reece was dead. We had the information which lead us to Kavitsky...”

“And Kavitsky confessed to all of the murders, all except the girl at your club,” Dan remembered. His eyes widened.

Lucifer nodded. “Reece thought he could use his inside knowledge of our case to kill me and blame it on Kavitsky. When he screwed up and killed an innocent girl he blamed ME for his own carelessness… ‘The Devil made me do it’,” he spat. “Then, later that night, Reece killed himself with his own lousy driving. I’d suggested that he confess his sins but it seems he decided to make his confession to Dr. Linda rather than the police who were still downstairs when he fled my company.” Lucifer shrugged, “As he was dead I saw no need to trouble Chloe or Dr. Linda with the exact- with any of the details of what he’d been up to.”

“Because you thought they might have blamed you?” Dan asked, accused.

“I was careless, allowing Reece to see my Devil Face,” Lucifer admitted. “Although it was hardly my fault that he was so irrationally upset about Dr. Linda. They _were_ separated when I was having sex with her after all, even if they were not he never _owed_ her. And it most certainly was NOT my fault that he put his poison in the wrong glass-” Lucifer broke off his rant sharply, “He has much to feel guilty for and yet… I visited him after I was forced to return to Hell.”

Dan paled at Lucifer’s blunt declaration.

“I don’t generally, haven’t in… Well, time in Hell isn’t quite the same but pyramids were all the rage when I stopped making an effort to greet my subjects personally.

“At first, when I realized what Dad had done, I decided I wasn’t having any of it. He could kick me out, shatter my wings and abandon me in Hell but He couldn’t force me to follow His plan. He could send me souls to punish and I’d throw them a party.” Lucifer’s expression turned hollow and haunted. “I asked, over and over, _‘What do you desire?’_ I was so naive. Here, I get surprised sometimes, innocuous or even lovely desires spill out of you under the influence of my ‘gift’ but in Hell- There was a reason the false Sinnerman put out his eyes rather than gaze into mine. In Hell when I ask the answer is never trivial, never pretty. In Hell your desires are the keys to your sins, the keys to breaking you. They tell me they desire to suffer for their guilt or they tell me desires so sickening in their lack of repentance that I cannot but fulfill my ordained role and MAKE them suffer for ways they’ve abused the free will my Father gifted them with.” Lucifer sighed, “And yet, whether they attempt to escape punishment, try to deny or justify their actions… Or even if they accept Hell as their due it makes no difference Daniel. In Hell there is no trying to do better, no amends that can be made. There is no redemption to be earned by suffering in Hell. There is only suffering, like a snare pulling tighter and tighter as you struggle to escape.”

“Yeah,” Dan said quietly remembering Palmetto, months spent knowing he should come clean but just burying himself deeper and deeper in lies, destroying his marriage, until he was stealing a gun from evidence for Malcolm to committ murder with.

“Or twining through your soul like an addiction if you submit to it,” Lucifer added quietly. “Reece though, he’s fascinating. He’s not trying to escape, he doesn’t expect that experiencing pain and suffering will wash away the pain and suffering he caused. He’s changed events so that he faces his obsessiveness with regards to Linda and attempts to make amends by leading the police to Kavitsky. He is _trying_ to do right. The last time I visited his loop Reece had begun to skirt the realization that it was him and not me who was to blame for Melissa’s death… Although he’s constructed a bizarre fantasy where he tracks down Kavitsky and manipulates him into going to Lux to attempt kill me rather than facing that it was Reece himself who poisoned the wrong glass. It didn’t show in life but it stands to reason that Reece couldn’t have been married to Dr. Linda without absorbing some fraction of her insight. He’s combined that with what I told him of Hell and is gradually unraveling the chains that bind him. I only spoke of Hell to terrorize him. It’s impressive, even Cain with all his millennia of life to work out a strategy to- to game the system isn’t doing so well.”

“Why are you telling me all this?” Dan repeated.

“Daniel, I want you to understand that it’s guilt that drives you down,” Lucifer told him sincerely. “Guilt that holds you prisoner. The doors aren’t locked but only you can resolve your guilt. Charlotte had the right of it- Although it is much easier to atone for your misdeeds if you get on with it while you’re still alive, while you can still make real changes. She was a bit of a special case, what with being brought back to life after a stint in Hell. But still utterly remarkable, she succeeded in changing both herself and her fate where Malcolm only gave thought to how he could cheat the system while adding, exponentially, to the sins that had damned his soul in the first place. I don’t want you in my realm Daniel. Deal with your past, your regrets, realize that Hell does not allow lies and NEVER stop trying to be better… Not even if you die.”

“You’re going back?” Dan glanced toward Lucifer’s empty sleeve. “Even after…”

“That’s what you ask?” Lucifer exclaimed. “Daniel, do you even believe me?”

“I’m trying not to,” Dan admitted. “Some sort of special effects hologram or aliens. You being an alien who _thinks_ he’s the Devil would be preferable and I was pretty much convinced of it before the...” Dan gestured vaguely to the space Lucifer’s wings had occupied.

“I am not E.T.,” Lucifer scoffed.

“MCU!Loki?” Dan offered. “Sometimes confused with a god but really an alien, at least until ‘Ragnarok’ came out?”

“Don’t force me to show you my Devil Face,” Lucifer threatened. “As to your question: My siblings did not yank me out of Hell due to fraternal affection. Either I will heal and go back or they will lose patience with my malingering and force me back. All they truly need do is leave their posts, I won’t risk another demon incursion on this plane.”

“Dude, your family knows you can’t just grow back an arm... Right?” Dan asked.

Lucifer laughed bitterly, “My dear Daniel, years ago you saw the scars left from cutting off my wings and now you’ve seen my wings. I assure you, I can indeed grow back a limb or two, providing I can achieve the proper state of mind. However, knowing is NOT half the battle. It is apparently much easier for me to convince myself that my Father is forcing unwanted limbs on me than to address why I… seem to feel less than whole at the moment.”

“Um- yeah,” Dan stammered uncomfortably. “And well- About the other thing. I feel like I should say ‘Thanks for the warning’ but honestly I’m feeling more like ‘Thanks for the vote of confidence’.”

“I do worry for you Daniel,” the Devil replied with a broad smirk.

* * *

Lilith crouched in front of a campfire, slowly turning a haunch of meat on a primitive spit. Casually she glanced over her shoulder at Michael. The angel stood at the very edge of the circle of light cast by the fire. Beyond the light, there was nothing, no where further for him to retreat. “You weren’t actually close enough to smell your brother’s flesh burn,” she commented. “But the smell of cooking meat still revolts you. You_ imagine_ that’s how it must of smelled.”

Michael pointedly refused to acknowledge her words.

“All these eons,” Lilith continued. “You shut it out of your mind. You told anyone who asked that you had done right and had no regrets but it was always there.”

Michael remembered Remiel, jumping into the fight for no other reason than she’d always idolized Amenadiel. He remembered how, after Lucifer had burned, they’d decided that she could never know that they had doubts, never know that they hadn’t _meant_ for it to happen.

“Shoved down in the corner, yes, but not gone.” Lilith tipped the spit so that the meat fell into the fire, sizzling and smoking.

A light flashed across the sky, not a falling star.

“All these eons, in the back of your mind you’ve wondered,” Lilith purred. “_‘What did I do?’_ I could show you.”

The ground shook.

“The crater where your brother hit ground still remains. His burning body crashed into the ground. The force of the impact burned the soil to ash for miles and flung it into the air, it’s still falling even today.”

A sullen glow illuminated the horizon. Lilith crept closer to Michael, directing his gaze toward it. “Lucifer, the Light-bringer, always. Our ground-bound sun, the first light to touch Hell. The fire started in his soul. Fire to burn away what was diseased. It took years to burn Samael away.

“As he lay in that pit, burning, the heat radiating from him melted sulfur from the surrounding rock, made it run like water and then boil. The choking stench of it filled the air. You could go and see what you did, I would love to take you.”

Michael told himself to look away, not to fall into Lilith’s trap, but he couldn’t bring himself to. As he stared, the land rushed past him bringing the glow closer.

“This door isn’t just yours, it’s his and even your mother’s for a moment. All that guilt, all of those memories, yours and theirs too, locked behind this door. You’ve wondered for eons, how it felt when your brother Fell.” Lilith stretched up on her toes to whisper into Michael’s ear, “I could show you.”


	12. Falling

“Dr. Linda!” Lucifer exclaimed bursting into Linda’s office.

“Lucifer,” Linda said with a small sigh, “I’m with a patient. And whose car did you borrow this time?”

“Amenadiel’s, he’ll hardly miss it,” Lucifer replied waving off her concern as he escorted her other patient out, smiling flirtatiously at the man and handing him a c-note to silence his protests. “I can’t get my conversation with Daniel out of my mind,” he told Linda.

“Dan’s holding up remarkably well,” Linda said. “Still trying to convince himself that he doesn’t believe you but doing remarkably well all the same.”

“Oh, yes,” Lucifer said, he sounded startled. “That’s a relief to hear. But it was more an epiphany of mine that has been bothering me: The suffering undergone by Hell’s population is wholly meaningless.”

Linda sucked in a quick breath between her teeth before firmly locking her neutral ‘therapist’ expression in place. “What do you mean by that, Lucifer?”

“I’ve told you, it’s guilt that drives souls to Hell,” Lucifer said. “No insignificant number of them are aware of their guilt and desire punishment. Even if they deny it, deep down they _want_ to be purged of their sins by suffering and we, my demons and I, have indulged their desires since the dawn of humanity… But it does no good. No amount of suffering has freed a single soul from their guilt. It’s never enough, their victims are never less damaged by their actions, and their suffering never brings them any peace. Never.”

For several moments Linda thought about what Lucifer had said and what she knew of her most challenging patient. “What about the others?” she finally asked. “The ones who aren’t aware… Or who feel guilt for the wrong reasons.”

A slow, nasty smile illuminated Lucifer’s face, Linda caught the faintest suggestion of Hellfire in his eyes. “If they won’t feel remorse, Hell _will_ see that they feel regret, if not for their actions then for the consequences they themselves suffer. But it's not enough.”

“Tell me about someone who feels regret rather than remorse,” Linda suggested.

“Professor Carlisle, you might remember him?” Lucifer asked.

“The reason I had to jumpstart your heart? Oh I remember him,” Linda said darkly.

“He does feel guilt,” Lucifer said. “I knew that before I followed him to Hell. His entire inane scheme to force others into the making the same corrupt choice that he made was driven by guilt. For all that Carlisle claimed he was doing it to prove to the world that anyone would make the same choice he did, the truth was he was driven by the need to prove it to himself, to prove that he was no more evil than any other human in a futile attempt to escape the guilt he felt.”

“And even after a few years in Hell he’s still trying to justify what he did?” Linda asked.

“It’s been considerably longer than that for him and he has yet to even _consider_ the sin he committed when he tried to kill Chloe,” Lucifer snarled. “All he’s capable of is rehashing his initial decision to let the cab driver die while he saved his precious research and the universal scorn he received for that choice. Even with my encouragement, the lives he destroyed or ended in his quest to justify himself remain nothing more than data points to him.”

“But he did see the cab driver, the one who’s death he was arguably least responsible for, as a person?” Linda asked.

“As a lesser being, not worth the suffering Carlisle would have undergone had his research been lost, but still human. He would have saved that man had there been no cost to himself to do so,” Lucifer sneered. “But he required the implicit promise of reward to draw back from murdering the Detective.”

“What did you do to him?” Linda asked. She wished that she could convince herself that it was about her patient and not about wanting to hear that the man who’d nearly killed one of her friends and who had put her in the position of helping a second friend endanger himself was suffering for what he’d done.

“If I’d only known Carlisle from his view of himself in Hell I might have forced him to face how he only valued himself for his work, how worthless a person he considered himself otherwise. I would have shown him the taxi driver escaping with his research and being hailed as a hero while he burned, forgotten and unmourned. It would have been the best way to break him but it’s not what he deserves. So I forced him to live through his victims’ suffering; To feel the effects of his poison, the agony of shoving his hand in a garbage disposal, even having his legs cut off and disfiguring his face. But all I elicited was self-pity, no empathy for his victims, no remorse. He nearly killed Chloe! It wasn’t good enough!” Lucifer snarled. “I tried to pry at his desire for vindication, to make him face that it was self-vindication he truly sought but he refused to allow that truth to take root in his mind. No matter what I did he clung to his delusion of himself as a victim!”

“And you kept going back to him because Chloe was one of the true victims?” Linda asked.

Lucifer shook his head, “During my most recent stint in Hell, Malcolm Graham more than satisfied my desire for a punching bag guilty of harming the Detective. Carlisle piqued my interest for reasons beyond the wrong he did to her.”

“How is Carlisle different from Malcolm?” Linda asked.

Lucifer tipped his head to one side. “Malcolm continues to blame me for the murders he committed in my name, despite now being exceedingly well-informed as to how I feel about such tributes. Malcolm blames Amenadiel for what he made his family suffer after he was resurrected… I might actually agree with him on that point. Of course, his family would have also been spared had Daniel managed to shoot him dead or had the Detective allowed a cop she already suspected to be dirty to bleed out rather than remaining in a risky location to offer first aid. Malcolm may resist those realizations but in his heart he knows he’s a dirty cop and, as much as he seeks to escape the punishment he so richly deserves, he knows that he does indeed deserve it.”

“And Carlisle?”

“Won’t admit he did a bad thing, no matter how I press him,” Lucifer said. “The guilt is there but he won’t let it take proper hold.

“A very long time ago, when I could still could still count the souls in Hell as the beat in a song, I tried to defy my Father and refused to punish them. I tried to make them happy.” Lucifer shrugged, “Doing exactly the opposite of what my Father wishes is always appealing but I learned my lesson, in that case at least. Although honestly, I’m not entirely sure what lesson I was supposed to learn: That humans can be unimaginably odious and when they abuse the freedom I was denied it pleases me to punish them. Or that I should be grateful that Father denied me freedom because in doing so he protected me from ever committing such sins.”

“Do you _actually_ think that?” Linda asked.

“Perhaps, once,” Lucifer admitted. “I wasn’t allowed to refuse the position of my Father’s punisher and Hell requires a King, one who won’t allow demons free reign unless they incorporate some balance of light into their being as Mazikeen has. The current system, broken as it is, is better than nothing, I know that now. But Father stood by while I destroyed my brother, and Cain,” his mouth twisted with disdain as he spat the first murder’s name. “I am the only one who has ever punished me for what I did. But then, given who I am, perhaps that is appropriate.”

Linda frowned and started to interject something.

“You asked about the difference between Carlisle and Malcolm,” Lucifer changed the subject. “Malcolm does not want to be punished but he will submit to the knowledge that he deserves it. Carlisle would rip his own throat out a thousand times over rather than surrender his justifications. Malcolm regrets the consequences of his actions while Carlisle whimpers that he is a victim of circumstance but neither of them will ever truly repent for what they’ve done. They will suffer until the stars burn cold but I doubt either will learn anything from it. I wanted, badly, to reject Samael’s purpose but failing that- I can’t- Hell doesn’t work Doctor! Since returning there I’ve come to know that I punish innocents, I offer no hope of redemption to the truly remorseful and I can’t even make those fully deserving of Hell understand their sins. It’s all meaningless.”

“Not to me,” Linda said viciously. “It’s a weight off _my_ mind to know that people like Carlisle don’t just get away with it. I understand wanting them to learn, to fully understand what they did wrong and why but if they’re incapable it’s enough for me to know that they didn’t get away with it.”

“It’s not good enough,” Lucifer protested. “Carlisle tried to murder my Detective. He doesn’t deserve the luxury of thinking himself the victim. Delilah doesn’t deserve Hell at all. And I fear Daniel will be trapped as well in spite of his very real efforts to be a better man. I don’t _care_ that he lashed out at me for Charlotte’s death, it was tiresome but he doesn’t deserve Hell for it.”

“I agree with you,” Linda said. “Under the mess of bad decisions he’s made, Dan Espinoza is a good man. He doesn’t deserve Hell and I know you can count on everyone in our circle to help him come to terms with his guilt.”

“Sooner rather than later,” Lucifer broke in. “Daniel does not work a safe job.”

“And I’m going to help you sort out Delilah’s guilt.” Linda promised. Then she added, “I’m seriously tempted to sign you up for course in guilt counseling.”

“You’re joking,” Lucifer said. “I tried being you in an attempt to solve Cain’s problems, it was rather disastrous. Sorting out my own feelings is challenge enough for me I’m afraid.”

“Trust me, other people are easier,” Linda replied with a wry smile. “With your abilities, an environment that bends to your will and a better understanding of how guilt- How _humans_ work, I think you could be extremely effective at handling, not just Delilah’s issues, but those of people like her.”

Lucifer shook his head, “Even if I were capable-” He broke off suddenly, his expression turning distant, then frustrated. “Apologies, I can turn off my phone at your request but not…” He gestured vaguely upward. Then folded his hands in prayer, although his tone was as far from reverent as it could get. “Azrael, why are you telling me?”

A moment later he said, “If she knows, I am undoubtedly the_ last_ person Ms. Lopez would wish to see.”

Linda came over and put a hand on Lucifer’s attention. “Your sister revealed herself to Ella?”

Lucifer gave an annoyed sigh, “Apparently. And now she wants _me_ to fix what she broke. Typical.”

“Remember Dan?”

“Ah yes!” Lucifer smiled for a moment then his expression fell, “I doubt Ms. Lopez will take it with such equanimity, she’s a fan of my Father’s. But yes, you’re absolutely correct: You should speak with her, I may never be welcome in her vicinity again but she’ll still require help in coming to terms with it all.” He folded his hands again, “Azrael, can you bring Ms. Lopez here? …No, you’re right. Flying would be a bit much.” He fished his cell phone out of his pocket, “Detective? My sister is a nincompoop who can’t keep her wings to herself and has given Ms. Lopez a bit of an existential crisis. Could you bring her here for Dr. Linda to fix up?”

* * *

Michael stood on a precipice above a roiling, murky lake, something glowed in its depths casting a sullen illumination across the barren landscape of Hell. “Do you ever wonder how it felt?” Lilith whispered.

And he was falling.

_Reflexively he tried to spread his wings, tried to halt his descent or at least shift forms to one fit to pass between planes of existence. For a moment it seemed to work then broken bones gave way under the strain. Agony shot through him. As he continued to fall his broken wings twisted around him like a shroud. Terror bubbled up in his gut as he plummeted without hope of control. Something else broke deep inside him and everything went haywire, his blood became the stuff of stars but his flesh remained suitable for dealing with mortals. And as he burned from the inside out he screamed and screamed._

_He hit ground with a bone shattering thud. Solid rock melted, flowed and vaporized around him. His blood still burned. The melting rocks flowed back over him, thick as tar and hot in his lungs. He was immortal, he didn’t need to breathe but oh how he wanted to. He clawed mindlessly at the ground trying to pull himself free but it melted under his hands and there was no escape._

_Finally, finally the star stuff in his blood was quenched. The burning stopped but as it did the lake above him solidified. He clawed at the hardening rocks. His broken wings pulled him back as he struggled through the thickening muck. The awful fluid filling his lungs solidified agonizingly as well._

Michael found himself standing back on the precipice gasping for breath, wondering how his lungs hadn’t ruptured. He saw Lilith watching him with an eager gleam in her eyes and pushed the memory aside. He forced his breathing to ease. “Thank you. I had wondered about that for a very long time,” he said.

“Was it better or worse than you had imagined?” Lilith asked coyly.

Michael tilted his head back to give her a condensing look, “Wouldn’t you like to know, Mother of Demons.”

“The worst is yet to come,” Lilith said, meeting his challenge.

* * *

Chloe guided a dazed Ella through the precinct garage. “I think I gave an angel a crisis of faith,” Ella mumbled. “I’m going to Hell.”

“No, Ella-” Chloe protested, her eyes full of worry.

Then Ella broke into hysterical giggles. Chloe loaded her into the car and reached across her to buckle her seatbelt. By the time she made it around to the driver’s seat Ella had herself back under control enough to manage a few words, “But it’s okay. I know a guy.” She started giggling again until tears were leaking out of the corners of her eyes.

Chloe kept a wary eye on Ella as she drove. When the younger woman finally calmed down, she asked, “You okay?” cautiously.

“Yes, No… Maybe, in a while. Rae-Rae’s an honest to-” Ella broke off with another spat of giggling. “Did you _know_?”

Chloe nodded. “Yeah, I knew. It was no metaphor where Lucifer had to go after the mess at the Mayan.”

That sobered Ella up. “Dan and I, we thought we had it all figured out,” she said. “Well, I don’t think Dan ever believed the part about Lucifer’s little sister being my ghost friend. Which she wasn’t! That capullo! She lied to me! She’s the _Angel of Death_, not dead. I thought Rae-Rae and Lucifer were raised in a cult! I was trying to put a crack in _that_ sort of conditioning. Chloe, their dad really is God. What am I supposed to think now?”

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Chloe said. “I was an atheist, I hung up on ‘It’s all true’.”

“I thought I was okay with the Big Guy again, I worked through what happened to Charlotte. I worked out that it’s not His job to keep bad things from happening but He’s there for us during the hard times. Only He’s Lucifer’s dad! The dad who kicked him out- Or I guess, stood by while a couple of his siblings nearly killed him kicking him out. I’m not okay with that. Chloe, I am not okay with what happened to Lucifer. And Rae-Rae, she told me she has to give up sleeping just to make time for having ONE friend. I don’t care who their dad is, I am not okay with it. How do I deal with that?”

“Linda?” Chloe suggested helplessly.

A few blocks later Ella had another realization: ”I made out with Eve, Eve-Eve, Biblical-Eve.”

“Yep,” Chloe said.

“She offered me drugs and I took them.” Ella started giggling again. “At least it’s wasn’t an apple.”

“Hey, just be glad that _you_ didn’t get engaged to her son, the infamous one,” Chloe said dryly.

“Seriously? Pierce was Cain?” Ella asked, eyes wide. “And you dated him.”

Chloe nodded and sighed.

“And Lucifer dated Eve,” Ella continued, “... Which totally makes sense now that I think about it, and having met Lucifer. But still! He dated your almost-ex’s mom. And you and him...”

Chloe groaned, “Please don’t remind me, it’s just weird.”

“Weird yeah,” Ella said distantly. “Speaking of weird: Is there really a Mrs. God and did Dan sleep with her?”

“Ex-Mrs. God and yes, yes he did,” Chloe replied. “She was borrowing Charlotte’s body for awhile.”

“Was she the nice Charlotte, or the less nice one?” Ella asked.

Chloe shrugged. “Which was which?” she asked. Then she added, “Charlotte was the one he _dated_, he and the Goddess just fucked.”

* * *

Once again Michael found himself standing on the precipice above the hardened lake. Lilith watched Michael with clear anticipation, nearly licking her lips. Michael kept his expression impassive as he waited to see Lucifer claw his way out of the lake.

A wordless shriek pierced the skys. Michael shivered, knowing it had been heard all the way to Heaven. They’d always believed that it had been the fire that had ripped the agonized cry from Lucifer. It had been that cry, lancing through the minds of all the angels and their parents that had broken Amenadiel from his paralysis and sent him flying after Lucifer. From their perspective it had taken only moments but now Michael knew, due to the time dilation between the Emphrael, Mortal and Infernal planes, that it had been days or even weeks for Lucifer. That it hadn’t been burning that had wrenched the cry from him but the molten lake hardening around him, in him.

_‘Surely now,’_ Michael thought, scanning the ground for his brother’s emergence. He wondered why Lilith hadn’t forced him to experience this as well as Lucifer’s fall. The sound of rocks falling echoed across the empty expanse. Michael frowned in confusion as he noticed a small cave-in marring the otherwise smooth surface of the hardened lake.

Then, finally, Lucifer appeared. Not digging his way free of the lake as Michael expected, he simply appeared. A bundle of sharpened, disarrayed feathers crouched on the shore of the lake, like a riled hedgehog. For several long minutes that’s that Michael saw, a cloak of glowing, razor-sharp feathers bristling against anything other, as if everything were a threat. Then, slowly Lucifer unfolded himself and Michael jerked back in shock. He’d seen his brother’s burn-reddened form before and knew to expect it, but not this. Not the crooked, crippled wings, healed wrong after being broken. Not the way the burned flesh stretched tight over bones, all fat and muscle consumed. Not the crusts of rock merged into his raw, burned flesh. Not talons!

Michael remembered Amenadiel’s angelic self-actualization and wondered if Lucifer had unconsciously reformed himself into this creature of sharp edges in his efforts, unsuccessful efforts to dig himself out. He wondered how Lucifer _had_ escaped the lake. Michael tried not to think about the brief moment when Lucifer’s eyes met his across the lake and the absence of anyone that he’d seen in them.

“Glorious isn’t he?” Lilith purred as they watched the creature that had been Michael’s brother mindlessly kill every demon that came near him. Massive creatures that warped reality around them, that bled ‘other’-ness. Humans looked in the mirror and assumed that they understood what it meant to be made in God’s image but even the most bizarre dweller in the depths of Earth’s seas was also a creature of God. The demons Lucifer slew were _NOT_ formed in God’s image.

Michael remembered fighting creatures like them long ago, before Lucifer’s Fall. Hard fights, the likes of which he hadn’t faced in eons. He remembered, more than once, being dragged back to the Silver City with his brother and sister warriors by his Father’s power, more dead than alive. He watched Lucifer’s sharp feathers, glowing with internal fire, slicing easily through the powerful, ancient demons. He saw that his brother was too deep in madness to acknowledge his own injuries, making him an implacable, unstoppable foe. _‘Was this Father’s plan? To end the threat by sacrificing Lucifer?’_

Uriel stared solemnly at him from the shadows. “Don’t try to shift the blame Brother. Father never told us anything,” he reminded Michael. “It was all us. We killed anything that remained of Samael and cast Lucifer away.”

Then he smiled and the expression on Michael’s normally serious brother’s face was disturbing. “Why, the next thing you know you’ll be saying that the Devil made you do it.” Uriel laughed, cruel and without humor. Michael cringed. Lilith eyed the memory of the destroyed angel calculatingly.


	13. Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Notification of a restart.

Sorry for the long pause. This story had started feeling like juggling… And I could see that the balls were going to fall soon. Also the timing between the various timelines was driving me up the wall, by trying to check in with every storyline regularly I was ending up losing stuff because another storyline messed up the timing. So anyway, I ended up deciding to restructure the whole thing to be a series of smaller, more focused stories. 

I think it’s partially an effect of binge watching the series: Too many plot bunnies competing for attention.

I’m starting over, with Dan’s story line. There are going to be scenes from the original version but also a lot of new stuff mixed in. It’s completely written so I’ll post quickly. Then I’ll pick up one of the other storylines (probably Ella, I’m planning on working from characters who are less in the know because they spoil less of the later storylines.)


End file.
